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close the purpose gap

Do you say you want to spend more time with your family but regularly stay late at the office to get ahead in your career?

Do you vow to give back to your community but can’t manage to fit time for volunteering into your schedule?

If so, you’re not alone. Most of us experience a disconnect between our words and actions when it comes to what matters most.

In theory, we should all live a life that’s as close as possible to what we say we care about most. In reality, that alignment doesn’t happen. All too often. there’s a big gap between what we’re actually doing and what we want to be doing.

What causes us to get off track? In my experience, it’s how people think about money.  People strive to have the highest-paying job, an expensive car, and a luxurious house.

Money is important. So is managing it wisely. Money isn’t all that matters.

I’m a family man who adopted two Haitian children orphaned by a 2010 earthquake. From that experience, I learned that a person’s legacy shouldn’t be limited to material goods that can be bequeathed to family members.

When you think about it, defining your values should be easy. It’s your spiritual beliefs. It’s how you want to raise your children. It’s how you want to spend your free time.

The trick is finding alignment between what’s really important and how you’re living your lives is creating a mindset that helps you give greater weight to what matters most and inspires you to act. Anyone can take steps to get thinking and acting moving together in the right direction to close the say/do gap.

3 ways to fill the gap between what you want to do and are doing

 

Here’s three ideas to get you started. 

  • Focus on family activities.

Create a new family tradition, such as organizing a monthly game night, buying tickets to a baseball game in the summer, or taking an annual road trip. You could have donuts the morning of your kid’s birthday, start a family book club, or visit a shelter once a month to feed the homeless.

  • Plug into nature.

Go birding, take canyon hikes with your dog, go shelling at the beach, go kayaking on the lake, paint outdoors, see the bigger picture, and look at the sky. The world is full of wonders to de-stress us.

  • Give back.

Consider how you can be a servant in your community without donating money. Who has needs you can meet? Think about your true passions in life. Who can benefit from your skills?

At the end of the day, it’s up to each one of us to decide how we want to live our lives.

We can continue complaining about money, stress, and schedules. Or, we can admit we need to step back, define what’s important to us, and live our lives with dedication to those things.

 

 

Today’s contributor is Lee Stoerzinger, a graduate of the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, who has practiced wealth management since 1993.