Barry was speechless, first with shock and then with anger, as he read the email from his boss.
See below. Here’s input from Kevin on how you handled the project team meeting today. Get it fixed. Fast.
Thought you should know my reactions to the productivity project team meeting this morning. Don’t know why but Barry led it. Barry was disorganized and unprepared. His answers to questions from finance totally missed the mark.
Kevin was Barry’s peer. They were both managers in the operating division of the company where they worked. They’d joined the company on the same day, went through the same onboarding classes, had attended several leadership development off sites together, and occasionally met for lunch. They weren’t best buddies nor were they total strangers.
Their boss had assigned both of them to a project team that had been tasked with improving productivity throughout the company.
Barry was on his way to a project team meeting when he received a call from the project team lead, George. George told Barry he was sick and needed to go home. He asked Barry to facilitate the meeting for him. Because George had done several favors for him, Barry agreed to handle the meeting even though he really didn’t want to do it.
Barry didn’t do the best job in running the team meeting. He rushed through the agenda and failed to work several key issues to closure.
Kevin participated in the meeting. When the meeting was over, he sent the above email to their boss.
Power of informal peer coaching
Was Kevin wrong it what he did? Not entirely. But he missed a powerful opportunity for informal peer coaching. He could have built trust and credibility with Barry instead of crushing both.
Peer coaching can make a real difference in helping people change. ~Stewart D. Friedman
Stewart D. Friedman, Practice Professor of Management at the Wharton School, describes coaching as “the process of helping others to improve performance now and developing their capacity to perform well in the future. It’s about changing behavior to make things better.”
Professor Friedman points out the power of coaching that comes from a peer, “We all need somebody to learn on. No one gains real success, in business or in other parts of life, without the support of other people. Peer-to-peer coaching is an important source of social support, and there are good reasons why, as a business professional, you can and should do it regularly.”
If you’ve even been in a situation like Kevin’s and were unsure of how to give feedback to a colleague, here are three things to keep in mind.
3 tips for coaching a peer
1) Just do it.
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Wouldn’t you want a peer to speak one-on-one with you instead of taking the issue further up the food chain right at the start? Peer-to-peer feedback is valuable support for our fellow leaders. It helps them grow into their potential. Leadership isn’t a duel to the finish with one person taking home the spoils (or shouldn’t be!). Leadership is a collaborative, character-based endeavor focused on company objectives.
2) Be tactful, not combative.
Ask if you may share some feedback before jumping in with what you have to say. Frame your comments from the perspective of wanting to help. Offering up well-framed observations and/or asking clarifying questions sets the foundation for performance improvement. not conflict.
Imagine the power of Kevin saying to Barry, “Today’s meeting felt disjointed to me. Is it just me or was there a reason?” While it wouldn’t have excused Barry’s poor performance, Kevin would have known that he took over at the last minute.
3) Share without judging.
“Man, you totally blew it today. There goes your promotion.” Don’t be too surprised if the person you make this remark to gets defensive. That happens when we use “you” statements. To reduce conflict, use “I” statements—they deflect blame, “I got a little lost in the meeting when you were going over the balance sheet. Did I miss something?” Plus, asking moves the conversation forward and doesn’t make people feel like they’ve been attacked.
Peers tactfully providing input on areas of improvement as well as kudos for success to one another is a powerful way to change the stories of leadership and build a culture of collaboration and camaraderie.
What’s your view?
Image source before quote: morgueFile.com
