Today’s guest post is from Dr. Richard R. Reichel, author of Everybody is an Actor. Dr. Reichel has a long and varied experience in the film and TV industries and holds multiple degrees including a doctorate in counseling psychology. Dr. Reichel created an innovative and comprehensive acting system that’s also helpful for anyone looking to have more confidence and be more assertive at work, social situations, school or even at home.

Having more confidence, having less stress, discovering inner resources, and improving relationships—there are thousands of self-help books to help us accomplish these goals, but do they work?

Self-help books can work, as far as they go, but they don’t address a key component that affects everything from how we feel about ourselves to how successfully we interact with others. That key component is the fact that we’re all actors—at work, school, home, even alone in front of the bathroom mirror.

We’re always playing the character of “Me,” but we also have to play other characters. The better we are at it, the happier and more successful we’ll be.

But just like anyone who steps before an audience, sometimes we’re paralyzed by stage fright.  Stage fright undermines our concentration, and we lose our character objective.

Why do so many people cower in light of their dreams? Why do they procrastinate on getting their degree? Why do they tremble at the thought of approaching Mr. or Ms. Right? It’s because of stage fright.

3 tips for managing your fears so you can have more confidence

Control stress with a “mind walk” and contemplation

Stress is associated with a variety of chronic illnesses. In addition to regular exercise and sleep nourishment, consider a “mind walk,” or a pleasant thought that stops the stress and replaces it with something positive. In the same vein, practice allowing your mind to wander into a cloudlet of peace and relaxing your body. Then, while thoughts are peacefully drifting, flex your feet, ankles, calves, shins, knees, buttocks and hips— and release. Feel the weight of your entire body while your mind remains free. Repeat the exercise.

Practice projecting your emotions

How many times have you daydreamed about how you’ll express yourself when a particular situation arises?

In the same way, we need to rehearse how we project our emotions in social situations. Try practicing emotional expression in front of a trusted friend or loved one. If someone has made you happy and joyous, rehearse how to show them in the moment. Showing love and laughter can strengthen bonds, and learning how to express anger, sorrow and fear in appropriate ways will improve your ability to communicate and foster understanding. 

Winning your audience by emphasizing character strengths

No one is good at everything, but everyone is good at something. In order to get what you want in life, you simply need to do what you’re good at. Your audience may be an employer, coworkers, family or a potential date. Can you make them laugh, understand or otherwise feel deeply what you’re expressing? Appealing to their emotional responses can go far.

Keep in mind the hearts and minds of your audience, including the setting and what they must be experiencing during the “performance.” Be aware of your vocal projection and body language. You will be remembered for your performance, which will lead you to better roles and, in the case of daily living, better relationships.

Image source (before quote):  Yoga24x7