The three of us were chatting in the break room, catching up while munching croissants from the bakery on the corner.

“Sounds like last night’s event was terrific,” sighed Fran. “I wish I’d been invited.”

“Me, too,” I replied.

“Both of you were invited,” Penny asserted vigorously. “I sent you an email invitation but neither of you responded.”

I spoke first, “Strange, I don’t recall receiving that email.”

Fran jumped in over me, “If I had received it, I would’ve signed up immediately, Penny. You must have omitted my name from the distribution list. There had to be some kind of problem, so why didn’t you follow-up with us? That’s what I would have done.” 

“Look, I sent  you the email. If you two didn’t read it, Then. That’s. Your. Problem. Don’t try to make it mine.” From her tone, there was no mistaking Penny’s anger.

Oh, my.

It’s not me!

Have you ever been in Penny’s spot—absolutely certain you’ve done your part and equally certain it’s the other guy who dropped the ball? I have.

A couple major blunders where I clearly owned the hot seat of screw-up responsibility had taught me the hard way to pause and check before I claimed my innocence. Gotta love the school of hard knocks, right?

No doubt, business and leadership practices do reward the leader who has the right answer. So, naturally, people want to be right.

However, there’s a big difference between being confidently right and being arrogantly, self-righteously, condescendingly right when really you’re wrong.

Like pesky wasps buzzing circles around us, people who act as if they were the sole expert on a subject put us on edge. In halls of learning where we least expect to find it, in governments, in religious temples, in businesses, in marriages and families, dogmatism is the arrogant voice of certainty that closes the mind, damages relationships, and threatens peaceful coexistence on this planet.  ~Dr. Judy J. Johnson

Stepping back from needing to be right is something people have to want to correct.

Many times the need to be right is based on the fear of being wrong.

Courage, character, humility, and wisdom all play a role in overcoming that fear.

3 ways to let go of being self-righteously right

There’s liberation to be had in giving up always being right.

#1. Summon the courage and character to admit uncertainty.

There’s joy to be had in saying I’m not sure but I’ll find out. Takes quite the load off. The perceived perfection that comes with always being right is a big burden. Let go.

#2.  Embrace the vulnerability that makes you strong enough to say that you don’t know.

There’s personal growth to be had in saying I don’t know but let’s find out together. There are relationships to be built when you’re strong enough to admit you don’t have all the answers.

#3.  Find the wisdom to make it so. 

Give yourself permission to not always be the one with the answer. You’ll be happier for it.

Image source before quote:  Daily Good