Rebecca’s presents were always so perfectly wrapped that it felt wrong to open them.

They were works of art with perfectly creased foil paper, artfully draped lace doilies, and exquisitely abundant handmade bows. She would spend hours on each creation.

Rebecca was a perfectionist, what author Don E. Hamachek describes as someone who can “derive a very real sense of pleasure from the labors of a painstaking effort.”

Perfectionism can drive you to heights of achievement—or to the depths of despair and inaction.

Perfectionism demands that you and your work be flawless because anything else is unacceptable. It’s all black and white: either you’re perfect or you’re a failure.

Perfectionism is a learned attitude that’s very different from working to achieve excellence.

There’s a difference between excellence and perfection. Excellence involves enjoying what you’re doing, feeling good about what you’ve learned, and developing confidence. Perfection involves…always finding mistakes no matter how well you’re doing.  ~Miriam Adderholdt, Perfectionism: What’s Bad About Being Too Good?

Pursuing excellence does requires effort and focus. But, unlike perfectionism, achieving excellence doesn’t demand a sacrifice of self-esteem because the focus is on the process of achievement rather than the outcome. Excellence is always within your grasp whereas aiming for perfection can be a recipe for heartache.

5 ways to bypass perfection

Set realistic and achievable goals instead of unreasonable demands. Setting a goal of losing a pound a week for the next six weeks is doable.  Saying that you must lose thirty pounds in two weeks or be a dieting failure is unreasonable (and sets the stage for ODing on chocolate chip cookies.)

Give yourself credit for what you accomplish. Take pride in your effort or willingness to try. It’s often true that it’s more the thought that counts than some bedazzled outcome.

If you’re wearing a disguise for too long, it will be difficult for the mirror to recognize you. At the end of the day I hope you become the person they didn’t expect you to be. Be proud to wear you. ~Dodinsky

Separate the “who” from the “do.”  Perfection isn’t the yardstick for measuring self-worth. Trust yourself enough to do the right thing…that will be enough.

When people believe in themselves they have the first secret of success. ~Norman Vincent Peale

Appreciate the moment. Quit dancing with the woulda coulda shoulda gremlins and savor good enough…right now.

You can’t go back to how things were. How you thought they were. All you really have is…now. ~Jay Asher

Seek out people who will support you as you work to replace perfection with excellence. It’s gonna take time.

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid. ~Albert Einstein

Reframe your thinking. Reclaim your confidence. Go for excellence. What say you?

Image source before quote:  morgueFile.com