Conflict is a given in most organizations. In families and relationships, too.
Each of us sees the world through the unique lens of our needs, interests, and concerns.
Depending on our level of tolerance, that diversity of thought, opinion, and perspective can be a powerful tool for innovation, inclusion, and results.
Or it can be a powerful downward drag on productivity and engagement. Research shows that a manager spends between 24 and 60 percent of his or her time dealing with the effects of conflict.
Ugh.
Some measure of healthy conflict and debate is necessary for progress and positive results. Leaders who effectively manage the paradox of task and relationship put the integration words of Mary Parker Follett, a pioneer in the field of organizational behavior, to good use every day:
There are three ways of dealing with difference: domination, compromise, and integration. By domination only one side gets what it wants; by compromise neither side gets what it wants; by integration we find a way by which both sides may get what they wish. ~Mary Parker Follett
5 tips for managing conflict and maintaining diversity of thought
Provide an opportunity to clear the air
Create a safe forum for people to voice their opinion and offer their perspectives. There’s no requirement to agree with what they have to say. Just let’em talk. Sometimes that’s all someone with a different opinion wants. Talking things through may provide clues into their thought processes that may be helpful in finding common ground.
The aim of argument, or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress. ~Joseph Joubert
Actively, deeply, intently, empathetically listen
Sometimes we get mired in our rightness and the other’s wrongness that we fail to fully hear what people are saying. Learn to listen for facts instead of reacting to your perceptions and stereotypes.
Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand. ~Karl A. Menniger
Appreciate healthy debate
Diversity of thought, opinion, and perspective creates workplaces that have higher productivity and better results. Appreciate, encourage even, constructive debate. It’s a helpful—and necessary—tool for business and personal growth.
It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences. ~Audre Lorde
Don’t sacrifice the relationship for the sake of being right
Relationships are the currency of the business world, so we want to be thoughtful in how we express our thoughts, feelings and physical responses when disagreeing. The person we alienate today could end up being our boss somehow down the road. Or they could be pivotal in getting a promotion, a special assignment.
We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects. ~Herman Melville
Be open
Be willing to admit when you were wrong. Be willing to forgive. Be open to changing your opinion, views, etc., when presented with new facts or a different context. Be willing to hear what’s different.
It is a narrow mind which cannot look at a subject from various points of view. ~George Eliot
What suggestions do you have for encouraging alternate voices to be heard without descending into chaos that uncontrolled conflict can bring?
Image source before quote: morgueFile.com
