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authenticity“It’s so fabulous to reconnect with you after all this time! We have so much to catch up on. I want to know everything you’ve been doing. Let’s get together soon, OK?,” gushed a former colleague I hadn’t seen in years.

“That would be fun. Let’s schedule a coffee, OK?”

“I’d love that. It’s just that I’m really busy and have no idea where I’d find the time.”

Yikes! What just happened here??!

To me, words like “fabulous” and “love” are big hugs of welcome. So are the smiles and eye contact.

Then…

“Have no idea where I’d find the time” is the welcome door slamming shut.

To me, saying “I don’t have the time” means “I won’t make the time because it’s not important to me.

And that’s OK.

However, what’s missing, for me, is authenticity.

Hearing “It’s good to see you again. It’s been a long time” is a simple yet authentic social pleasantry without commitment or insincerity, and works just fine for me if there’s no interest in renewing the connection. If there’s no intention to take/make the time to meet and reconnect, simply don’t make the offer.

What say you?

Have you had similar encounters? What did you do? How did you handle it?

 

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Quotes about authenticity that speak to me

The closer you stay to emotional, people, and character authenticity, the less you can go wrong. That’s how I feel now, no matter what you’re doing. ~David O. Russell

Everything will line up perfectly when knowing and living the truth becomes more important than looking good. ~Alan Cohen

Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway.  ~Mother Theresa

Often misconstrued, authenticity is not about being an open book, revealing every detail of yourself without rhyme or reason. It is simply the act of openly and courageously seeing what needs to be seen, saying what needs to be said, doing what needs to be done, and becoming that which you are intent on being. ~Scott Edmund Miller 

I have abandoned the masquerade of living up to the expectations of others and explored the new horizons of what it means to be truly and completely me, in all my amazing imperfection and most splendid insecurity. ~Anthon St.Maarten 

Image source before quote:  morgueFile.com