by Jane Perdue | Leadership
I’m a guest writer over at SmartBlog on Leadership today!
Do you know how to lead?
The division CEO and chief financial officer glared ferociously at each other after a heated exchange. Twelve others sat tensely around the conference room table, silently assessing their limited options: Do the politically expedient thing and side with the CEO, or do what’s mostly right for the business and side with the CFO?
This lose-lose outcome has it all—power gone wrong, ego overload, and one-track thinking—and plays out all too frequently in businesses of all sizes.
Trapped on the dark side of leadership, some individuals get “so fixated on finding a shortcut to the goal that they may not be too particular about the means they use to reach it,” observes David C. McClelland, psychological theorist and 30-year Harvard University professor. When will leaders learn my-way-or-the-highway isn’t the only option?
3 ways to lead with an open mind
The division CEO and chief financial officer glared ferociously at each other after a heated exchange. Twelve others sat tensely around the conference room table, silently assessing their limited options: Do the politically expedient thing and side with the CEO, or do what’s mostly right for the business and side with the CFO? This lose-lose outcome has it all — power gone wrong, ego overload and one-track thinking — and plays out all too frequently in businesses of all sizes.
Trapped on the dark side of leadership, some individuals get “so fixated on finding a shortcut to the goal that they may not be too particular about the means they use to reach it,” observes David C. McClelland, psychological theorist and 30-year Harvard University professor. When will leaders learn my-way-or-the-highway isn’t the only option?
Stop the power trip. Lord Acton’s observation that power corrupts is only partially true; the seduction happens only if you allow it. Power and authority can be a heady siren’s song, luring you out of self-awareness into a no-man’s land of faux omniscience. Savvy leaders don’t make that leap. Choosing instead to say attuned to, and even seek out, feedback. They want to know how others perceive them. Integrity, authenticity and ethics hold their center stage: doing right and doing well hold equal value. “Authority and power are two different things: power is the force by means of which you can oblige others to obey you. Authority is the right to direct and command, to be listened to or obeyed by others. Authority requests power. Power with authority is tyranny,” writes philosopher Jacques Maritain.
Nurture tolerance. Don’t be so quick to conclude that those who hold a differing opinion are wrong or misguided or need converting to your point of view. The glass can be both half-empty and half-full; both assessments are correct. One need look no further than our governing bodies in Washington, D.C. to see the gridlock that results from polarized mindsets. Different doesn’t mean wrong.
Diversity of thought produces outcomes far superior to those possible with one-dimensional approaches. It’s time-consuming and perhaps annoying to deal with contrarians, but with a workforce full of multiple generations, more women and more people of color, doing so builds respect, fosters positive unconditional regard, and gives new voices the opportunity to be heard.
Think big. It’s tempting to believe the urban legend that you know best because you occupy the seat at the head of the table or run the big project. Resist doing so. A leader’s role to synthesize ideas, not strangle them.
Abandoning stability for innovation can result in chaos. Embracing centralized decision-making in lieu of decentralized autonomy can produce a cadre of low-performing yes men. Always following the book rather than the occasional in-the-moment response can generate organizational paralysis. A strength overplayed generally becomes a weakness. A leader who thinks big knows when to shift between seemingly contradictory practices to maximize outputs and engagement.
Effective leaders understand there is a time and place for simplistic black-and-white thinking. Yet, they also recognize situations requiring balance and/or oscillation between opposing viewpoints, like maintaining a core of stability while also encouraging creative new ideas.
Leadership behavior is the primary influencer of organizational activity, connection and culture. Effective leaders are most particular about the means they employ to make them happen.
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Quotes on how to lead
Only an open mind still has room for new knowledge. What is outgrown and used up must be discarded to make room for what is yet to be learned. ~Robert Fulghum
If people could regard the events of their own lives with more open minds, they would frequently discover that they did not really desire the things they failed to obtain. ~Andre Maurois
Merely having an open mind is nothing; the object of opening the mind, as of opening the mouth, is to shut it again on something solid. ~Gilbert K. Chesterton
Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate, or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. ~Henry Miller
It is perfectly possible to have an open mind and live a very principled life, without holding one’s beliefs dogmatically. Having an open mind means being prepared to question even your most central beliefs if there is occasion to do so.
It means being open, when the time comes, to having your mind changed by an argument better than one’s own. It means being able to think both sides of an issue, both the side you think is true and the side you think is false. It also means being able to suspend your beliefs, to play devil’s advocate, and to detach yourself somewhat from your own beliefs, actions and feelings. Only living with an open mind gives us a chance to grow and change, for change is inevitable, while growth, unfortunately, is not. ~Jeff Mason
by Jane Perdue | Leadership
“It’s official in my mind. My boss is a total jerk. Know what he told me this morning? He thinks my decision to implement the automated expense tracking system was a bad one.”
“Did he say why?”
“He says it’s going to create problems with the field sales staff because I didn’t consider other options or involve other people.”
“You did those things, right?” (more…)
by Jane Perdue | Character
You’d been angling to get assigned to the special project team at work for a long time. Finally your dream came true. What you weren’t expecting, however, was discovering the team facilitator rubbed you the wrong way, big-time.
Maybe it’s a case of opinions and values being worlds apart. Perhaps there’s open hostility or a personality clash. Possibly there’s hidden resentment on your part. Regardless the reason for the conflict, you can’t avoid or ignore him because your long-awaited participation requires interaction and collaboration.
So what does a savvy self-aware character-based leader do? Take the high road! Take control of the one thing in your control – yourself.
4 ways to stay calm and manage yourself
Manage your attitude. While the temptation to fire off a snarky retort or roll your eyes in derision is alluring, it isn’t a politically astute move as it diminishes you. Think before reacting when your hot button is stoked. Move away from your sense of rightness. Make it a point of personal honor to avoid a purposeless confrontation. Stay calm, maintain self-control.
“The greatest conflicts are not between two people but between one person and himself.” ~Garth Brooks
Understand your own intentions. Are you operating from an “I win/you lose” perspective? If your motive is to enhance your standing by diminishing that of others, it won’t work. A win/win orientation plays to everyone’s benefits.
“Even in your rightness about a subject, when you try to push your rightness toward another who disagrees, no matter how right you are, it causes more pushing against. In other words, it isn’t until you stop pushing that any real allowing of what you want can take place.” ~Abraham Hicks
Become familiar with what motivates your nemesis. Walk in his penny loafers; view things from her perspective; listen closely for clues to his values and beliefs. Consultant Susan Lankton-Rivas advises, “Try to understand the other person’s point of view and how he or she arrived it at.” Doing so can help you get a better grasp on why this person annoys you so much.
“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” ~Dale Carnegie
Control your communication style and message. Aim for total alignment between what you say and how you say it. The National Network for Women’s Employment counsels us to “keep in mind it’s not just what you say that matters. It’s also how you say it, how you act and your body language.” Advising a colleague in a sharp tone of voice there’s a problem you want to discuss – and doing so with your arms tightly folded across your chest – sets off his internal alarms and builds a poor foundation for productively resolving the issue.
“Speech is power: speech is to persuade, to convert, to compel. It is to bring another out of his bad sense into your good sense.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Learning to master your attitude, intentions and communication style forms the bedrock for staying calm and capably managing conflict.
What “stay calm” insights do you have to share?
Image credit: Dreamstime
This post first appeared on the Lead Change Group blog.
by Jane Perdue | Leadership
You know, if it weren’t so sad, this leadership story would be funny in a sick kind of way.
I’ve been wrangling with the local post office for two months over a book I’d purchased that never made it to my mailbox. I have no doubt the book was delivered somewhere; it just wasn’t delivered to me.
In my first chat with the local pooh bah, Mrs. W. promised to immediately check into the matter and call me the following day. Of course, she didn’t call. When I called her a week later, she was shocked to learn that no one in her department had contacted me with an answer. She’s been similarly shocked three more times. (more…)
by Jane Perdue | Leadership
Want to be a positive leader who embraces possibility with childlike wonder? Who practices inclusion without judgment? Who turns dreams into reality? Who inspires others to do the same?
You can if you’re willing to put the 7 c’s of leadership to work!
Before we can lead others well, we have to lead ourselves, and the 7 c’s of leadership help us do just that.
Through our work and experience, the TJG team has discovered that effective leaders have mastered what we call the 7 c’s: character, connection, cognition, capability, compassion, confidence, and commitment.
So, when people ask us about the “secret sauce” for leadership success, the TJG team asks, “How’s your 7c’s of leadership?”
Putting the 7 c’s of leadership to work
A 7c leader has character.
- They walk the talk for being good and doing well.
- Their ethics and integrity are above reproach because they’re authentic, honest, transparent and have a moral center.
- They radiate positive energy and determination.
- They’re self-disciplined.
- They treat those with and those without power the same.
- They invite the elephant in the room to dance.
A 7c leader fosters connection.
- They know what values and beliefs are important to them, and they practice them in their daily living in doses large or small.
- They make the time to communicate and connect with others.
- They actively listen with their head and heart to what others have to say because understanding their point of view is important to them.
- They know when to be mindful and when to take action.
- They drive the balance between stability and stimulating change.
A 7c leader has cognition
- They’re self-aware, and actively use their self-knowledge to relate to others.
- They know their strengths and put them to good use both for themselves and in service to others.
- They know their weaknesses, and work to minimize any negative impact they may have.
- They seek out feedback; then listen and reflect on what they heard.
- They embrace discipline and entrepreneurship.
- They practice simplicity yet know when to take the deep dive.
A 7c leader has capability
- They dare themsilves to stretch the limits of their potential and inspire those around them to do the same.
- They seek to learn and understand because they want to grow their comfort zone.
- They practice empathy and accountability with themselves and those around them.
- They’ve gotten comfortable oscillating between collaborating and competing, confidence and humility, and control and empowerment.
- They know when to go fast and when to go slow.
- They focus on and equally value people, principles and profits, not sacrificing one for the other.
A 7c leader has compassion
- They’re unafraid to smile and laugh.
- They’re fearless in showing love and joy.
- They say thank you to someone every day.
- They share grins and gratitude.
- They’re there for others.
- They’re tolerant of and embrace differences.
- They know when to speak with candor and when to use diplomacy.
- They celebrate similarities and differences.
- They set boundaries for, and appreciate, what’s mandatory and what’s discretionary.
- They care for themselves, their team, organization, community, family and whatever else they hold near and dear, and are secure enough to show that they care.
A 7c leader has confidence
- They exude quiet courage by taking a stand for what’s good and what’s right, even if doing so is unpopular.
- They show grace under pressure.
- They acknowledge their fears without letting them rule their lives.
- They’re joyfully spirited.
- They show strength of mind and will.
- They believe in themselves.
- They know they bring value and help others believe the same about themselves.
A 7c leader has commitment
- They hold themselves accountable and assist others in doing the same.
- They’ve dedicated themselves to practicing 7C performance.
- They seek out.
- They communicate.
- They live up to their potential.
- They celebrate.
- They’re courageous.
- They dare to be sincere, caring and authentic.
- They make a positive difference.
How’s your 7C leadership going?
Image source before quote: morgueFile.com
