“The facilitator was unprepared. She didn’t bring a list of examples that we could use. I believe she wasted my time in asking me to create my own list.”

I knew Art* wasn’t “liking” the leadership workshop. The other eleven participants were into it; he assumed the negative contrarian role throughout. He commented several times that his preference was the destination, not the journey; so just give him the answers, please.

And, to his credit, he carried that outlier role all the way through to his evaluation rating of zero and in signing his name.

He wanted me to know he thought I sucked.

And that’s OK. Art is absolutely entitled to have an opinion. A contrary position.

However, there are two things to which Art isn’t entitled.

One is his belief that his preference is the only correct one.

The second is that life (and/or workshop facilitators) owe him all the answers, neatly packaged and delivered right to his tablet.

One of my biggest life lessons has been that what meant the most to me was what I worked the hardest to achieve. (But those who think differently aren’t wrong…just different!)

Those victories where I felt wrung out and pushed past my limits were the sweetest. Those were the times I’d wallowed in the muck, eaten way too much chocolate, questioned my abilities countless times, and wished — at 3 AM — that someone, somewhere, would take mercy on me and point out the way.

Yet, the times when the answers were handed to me — well, I appreciated the gift of time, for sure. But later I realized that those were the projects and experiences in which I had learned the least.

I had the satisfaction of checking something off my ‘to do’ list. However, I didn’t get any satisfaction from having grown intellectually, spiritually, or emotionally.

Art, I concede this round to you.

I wasn’t able to move you along in your journey. I couldn’t help you see that the lessons we build and learn on our own are the ones that will take us the furthest and mean the most to us.

My heartfelt hope for you is that someday you will have that break-through thought on the value of learning…and do so all on your own — and that you will revel in the sheer joy of it.

What has brought your best lessons to you? Have you ever worked with someone like Art?

*like all the names used on LeadBIG, not his real name

Picture credit (before quote added): Begin Website