My colleague was quite miffed about being passed over to be the team lead for a high profile project. Suzanne told everyone she should have been the one to get tapped for that work, not Kathleen.

Her outrage hung on, with her tirades now flowing beyond the workplace into social events.

One evening over a cocktail, she ranted for nearly 10 minutes about how unfairly she had been treated and how she should have been the one selected.

Eric had heard Suzanne’s story several times before. Obviously bored with it, he pulled out his smartphone and began checking football scores.

“Don’t you agree, Eric, that I was treated unfairly?” quizzed Suzanne in a piqued tone.

Placing his phone on the table, Eric leaned in and responded, “Did you ever tell Rick you wanted that role?” Rick was the department head, and boss to both of them.

“Well, not in so many words,” came Suzanne’s brusque retort. “He should have known.  I work hard and my work is good. It’s better than Kathleen’s.”

“Well, Rick is a lot of things but being a mind reader isn’t one of them.”

Have you ever been in the same spot as Suzanne? Working hard, hoping someone will notice and reward you? Well, if so, please stop.

It’s a crazy busy and competitive world out there. Thinking that things should  happen won’t make them happen. Getting noticed and getting the plum assignments is a participative sport.

3 tips for moving past dissing and start doing

Let go and move on

Suzanne’s repeated outbursts about her disappointment and perceived unfair treatment didn’t draw people toward her. Rather, it pushed them away. When you’re passed over for a job you wanted, do take a few moments to look back and reflect. Learn where your skills gaps are. Then close them. Quit speaking about the past and focus on the future.

The trouble with ‘if only’ is that it doesn’t change anything. It keeps the person facing the wrong way – backward instead of forward. It wastes time. In the end, if you let it become a habit, it can become a real roadblock – an excuse for not trying anymore. ~Arthur Gordon

Do give up on the crystal ball thing and communicate

Many times we fall into the self-effacing trap of being too modest. We view sharing our accomplishments as being arrogant and narcissistic. Telling the truth about our successes isn’t bragging; it’s just telling the truth. So take 20 seconds of insane courage and tell your boss what you’ve done, how it will positively impact the company and move your career along. Remember to be specific about whatever it is that you want – the promotion, the project lead position, the chance to speak at a conference, etc..

“I believe in creating jobs and empowering people to feel useful at work every day” is very different from “I’ve started three manufacturing companies, employing 200 people.” It’s subtle, but do you hear it? ~Dr. Shelley Prevost

Don’t just wish for it, do it

Some people believe they deserve a promotion. They say they’ve been there a long time or paid their dues. Those thoughts aren’t normally the criteria you see on a job posting. Replace wishing with thoughtful performance that fills a business need. Substitute talking with doing and perhaps that next promotion may be yours.

Image source:  Gratisography