by Jane Perdue | Be your best you
I stumbled on this insightful poem by Dale Wimbrow that was written in 1934, yet the message remains fresh and true today.
The Guy in the Glass
When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf*,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.
For it isn’t your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass.
He’s the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he’s with you clear up to the end,
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.
You may be like Jack Horner and “chisel” a plum,
And think you’re a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
If you can’t look him straight in the eye.
You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you’ve cheated the guy in the glass.
* means wealth
These observations about the meaning of Wimbrow’s poem offered by Poetryace resonate with me:
“The poem addresses you as a general reader. Ultimately, the speaker tells the listener that you need to be able to look yourself in the mirror as your judgment of yourself is the only judgment that matters in this world. Looking yourself in the mirror has become an expression of conscience. If you can do so, your conscience is free, and you will live a happy life.
Wimbrow has personified a person’s reflection as if it can pass judgment onto the person looking at it – as if your reflection is judging you when you look in the mirror, and can be nice or a little cold.
He’s essentially saying, go take a good hard look at yourself – what do you think? What does your heart say? What’s your conscience say?
You may think you are this great, amazing guy, but if you can’t look yourself in the eye when you are looking in the mirror – you’ve got some issues to work out. The “guy in the glass” will determine just how much of a “wonderful” guy you really are.”
Holy moly! Powerful alchemy of the head and heart! Are you feeling the same thing!
by Hillary Hutchinson | Be your best you
Hillary Hutchinson
Confidence is something that can be learned.
Becoming more confident can make you more successful. Success breeds success, adding to your sense of confidence. This creates a powerful, inextricably linked cycle of success, confidence, success.
Why is it that so many of us doubt our own abilities?
Until you own your excellence, you will continue to doubt yourself and perhaps stop yourself from taking on new challenges that you most certainly could accomplish.
If you are always afraid of saying something stupid or doing something stupid, you might not even be willing to try new things.
Confidence comes from real, solid achievements, which no one can take from you. This is not the same as self-esteem, which may be built on nothing more solid than nice words said to you.
Solid achievements are built upon a “can do” mindset, then actually doing. Envision success. In other words, say to yourself each time a new opportunity arises, “I can do this,” let go of any negative thoughts about failing, and do it.
One way to get in a positive mindset is to look back on your life and identify past achievements. It doesn’t have to be job related:
- Did you successfully raise children?
- Volunteer to chair a committee at school or at church?
- Buy a house on a shoestring?
- Learn to play an instrument for fun?
- Come up with a solution to a scheduling problem?
- Join an adult soccer team?
Every one of these things is an accomplishment. Your achievements don’t have to be life-altering. Even small achievements are achievements.
3 ways to build confidence
Here are some tips on how you can work on building your confidence:
1. Get yourself a notebook and create an “Achievement Log.”
You can do this today. Start your log by identifying at least 10 things you have accomplished in your life so far. Here are some more suggestions: Think about the tests you have passed, the times where you did something that made a difference in someone else’s life, or any tasks or projects you completed. Once you get started, you might find it hard to stop at 10!
Put your Achievement Log somewhere you can look at it often. Commit to looking at your list of achievements each week, reminding yourself of the success you have already experienced. Sit up straight while reading and your posture will send your brain success messages, too. The log can be a reminder of what you are capable of and what is yet to come. You can celebrate what you accomplished in the past week and grow your list of successes by adding new ones. Tip: If you are feeling down, re-reading the log can be a great way to lift your spirits.
2. Think about the personal strengths you have exhibited in your accomplishments.
If it’s difficult for you to look at yourself objectively and recognize your strengths, try placing yourself in the shoes of a friend or family member. What strengths would these people see in you? What would they consider your talents to be? As you identify your strengths, make sure you take the time to really acknowledge them. Is it easy for you to be organized while people around you remain scattered? This is a natural strength. Enjoy a few minutes of being proud and reflecting on your talents.
3. Think about the things that are really important to you, and what you want to achieve in every area of your life.
Work, personal, social, health and fitness, and anything else that is important to you. Make sure you add some deadlines to keep yourself on track. Setting and achieving goals is a key part of building and sustaining confidence.
When you have set your goals, fear, doubt and uncertainty may rear their ugly heads.
At this stage, you need to manage your mind.
Learn to recognize any negative self-talk and replace it with confidence-building talk, such as “I have already achieved much, and I can do more.” “I can use my knowledge to help myself, my colleagues and my family.”
Make a clear and unequivocal promise in your mind that you are absolutely committed to achieving your goals, and that it is in your power to do so.
Building your confidence is a process. Applying these principles will help your sense of confidence to grow, and then your success will follow.
Today’s guest author is Hillary Hutchinson, Founder of Transitioning Your Life.
by Jane Perdue | Be your best you
Wow, last Tuesday was quite a day, and the biggest problem I had in managing what was going on was managing myself and my attention span.
The final straw came in a meeting where three things happened that threw me off-course.
The woman who had scheduled the meeting arrived late, and she was wearing flip-flops.
Another participant rarely took his eyes off his Smartphone and kept typing away on it, then asked for information to be repeated four (!) times because he missed what was said.
Another attendee proved gifted at steering every topic or comment back to several items on her personal agenda
Lateness. Flip-flops in an office. Inattention. An all-about-me attitude. Grr.
What a perfect storm of personal hot buttons being pummeled in rapid succession. I couldn’t stop looking at the flip-flops being noisily flopped and waggled in the air. The personal-agenda-stuff and present-in-body-but-not-in-mind were so distracting I couldn’t concentrate.
I was letting these folks pull me off my game.
I. Had. To. Focus.
It was time for some serious tough love self-coaching Jane to Jane:
Note to self: these are my pet peeves, all mine. Let go.
The meeting hadn’t been called to meet my preferences. “How often people’s’ minds wander is definitely a big predictor of who’s happy and who’s not happy,” writes Matthew Killingsworth, a doctoral candidate in psychology at Harvard University who studied attention spans. I wasn’t happy my hot buttons were being pushed, but I was the one with the problem. I had to let it go. Be here now.
Acknowledge the distractions, just don’t let yourself react to them.
“The ability to willfully focus your attention is physically separate in the brain from distracting things grabbing your attention,” says Earl Miller, a neuroscientist at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. OK, I can do this. Focus on the meeting’s purpose and why you’re here.
You are in charge, kiddo, of where your attention goes.
You can fuss and fume mentally over the flip-flops or the phone or the “I-love-me” megaphone. OR you can focus on the project deliverables and your role in making them happen. Remember what you are here to do and do it.
Remember why you’re there.
The meeting was called to get work done, not for you to watch and judge the other participants. Remember the terrific outcome this work will achieve. See the big picture of the work, not your hot buttons being pushed. “What your brain is best equipped to do is to think, to analyze, to dissect and create. And if you’re simply responding to bits of stimulation, you won’t ever go deep,” says Dr. Edward Hallowell, a psychiatrist focused on attention deficit disorder. Got it. Now ready to do it. Now doing it. Keep doing it. Yeah, Jane!
Whew…finally back on track.
What works for you to get refocused when your mind wanders?
Image source before quote: morgueFile.com
by Jane Perdue | Be your best you
Wow, it’s amazing that half a year has whizzed by!
Now is a great time for leaders to look back over those six months looking for personal lessons learned and for wisdom gained, with a special emphasis on 7C leadership skills: cognition, connection, communication, capability, compassion, confidence, and character.
7C leaders embrace possibility with childlike wonder, practice inclusion without judgment, turns dreams into reality, and inspires others to do the same.
After you’ve done your checkup on how well you did in the first half of the year, take your insights and put them to good use in the second half of the year.
Remember: 7C leaders focus on using their head to manage and their heart to lead!
The 7 C’s: A Mid-Year Leadership Checkup
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The 7 C’s
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Yes
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No
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| Cognition |
| Have I established my goals, both what I want to do and what I want to be? |
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| Am I aware of my strengths, and do I put them to good use? |
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| Am I tuned in to how I come across to others take that into account in how I interact and communicate with them? |
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| Connection |
| Have I identified my purpose and passions? |
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| Do I take and make the time to fuel my purpose and passions in my daily living, either in doses large or small? |
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| Do I make it a priority to make the time to connect with others so I understand their point of view? |
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| Communicate |
| Do I regularly engage in two-way dialogue? |
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| Do I share freely what I know to keep others in the loop? |
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| Do I actively listen with my both my head and heart to what others have to say? |
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| Capability |
| Do I stretch myself to the limits of my potential? |
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| Do I inspire those around me to do the same? |
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| Compassion |
| Do I practice tough empathy on myself and those around me? |
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| Do I regularly smile and laugh and have fun both at work and at play? |
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| Do I frequently recognize the accomplishments and contributions of others? |
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| Confidence |
| Have I mastered how much control I give to my inner critic? |
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| Have I learned to constructively work with ambiguity? |
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| Do I give myself, and those around me, permission to learn through failing? |
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| Character |
| Have I chosen to be a person of integrity, never afraid to be found out? |
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| Do I treat those without power with the same respect I accord to the powerful? |
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| Do take the stand for what’s good and what’s right, even if doing so is unpopular? |
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| Commitment |
| Have I dedicated myself to finding connection, communicating, reaching for my potential, celebrating, and being courageous, sincere, caring and authentic? |
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How did you do? Brag on yourself…or go public with what you will do better going forward!
Image source before quote: morgueFile
by Jane Perdue | Be your best you
Do you aspire to be the kind of leader who uses their head to manage and their heart to lead?
If so, getting your interactions with others right depends on several things.
First, you have to get yourself right.
You have to be self-aware.
Getting yourself right is hard work that requires both introspection—casting a caring yet clinically objective eye on your interests, skills, qualities and values—and self-awareness—a non-judgmental understanding of how you respond, react, engage and interact.
(more…)
by Jane Perdue | Be your best you
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Think how many times as a child or young adult that question was posed to you.
Think about your answer.
Did you say a firefighter, doctor, teacher, nurse, businessman, astronaut, baker or candlestick maker (couldn’t resist!)? (more…)
