Betsy was credibly confused. She wanted to give her boss, Florence, the benefit of the doubt, but it was so hard to do!

In nearly every monthly staff meeting as well as in their infrequent one-on-one sessions, Florence had assured everyone on the team that she valued them both as individuals and for their work contributions.

Florence’s words sounded so good, and she sounded so re-assuring and caring when she said them. 

Betsy wanted—with all her heart—to believe Florence’s words were true.

Yet, as much as she was loathe to admit it, it was becoming harder and harder for her to ignore the small but persistent voice in her head that whispered, “Florence says all the right things, but her actions contradict her words. There seems to be a gap between what she says and what she does.”

Betsy’s concern had gone into hyper-drive earlier in the day when a colleague forwarded an email Florence had sent to the department head.

In that email, Florence detailed her plan for setting up the conference the department head had requested. Not once in the message was anyone else named. Anyone reading the email could easily conclude that Florence had created the entire plan herself. In reality, Florence had done very little work in preparing for the conference. Betsy and two co-workers had done nearly all of the heavy lifting.

Betsy had lost count of the number of times Florence had passed off work done by a direct report as her own. When Betsy or someone else in the department had asked Florence about it, her answer was always that “she had been in boss mode when she wrote the email and forgot to mention other names, but, hey you folks know how much I value you. I tell you all the time.”

Betsy just wasn’t sure Florence’s professed care was there anymore—or if it had ever been there at all.

Do you have a say/do gap?

Are you a boss? Worried that your team might view you like Betsy views Florence? If so, take a moment of “say/do” self-reflection time and ask yourself a few questions:

• Am I certain there’s complete and total alignment between my words, my actions, and my values, each and every single time I speak and/or act?
• Do I sometimes parse my words and behaviors to be politically expedient?
• Has anyone on my team, a peer, or my boss challenged me for behaving differently than I spoke?
• If I have been called out, did I deny their claim? Offer an excuse? Valiantly accept their censure?
• Do I regularly call out people on my team when there’s a disconnect between what they say and what they do?
• Have I ever questioned my own boss about a real or perceived say/do gap on their behalf?
• Do I hang around with leaders who are known for their upstanding character or those who are comfortable talking about reducing expenses over lunch at the most expensive restaurant in town?
• Am I known for being credible? Sleazy? A straight shooter? Or one who bends in the breeze?

As Bill George writes in True North,

Leadership is not exerting power over others or exhorting them to follow you. Rather, it results from your example of empowering others to step up and lead. Leaders do that by learning to lead themselves, becoming self-aware and behaving authentically.

As leaders, we’re often rewarded for being doers; so it’s occasionally good, no, great, to hit the personal pause button and re-assess if we’re really on the right track or just telling ourselves that.

What say you?

Image source:  morgueFile