Little did I realize that one of my first decisions as a newly-promoted manager would be to decide if I was going to fit the stereotypes of the nice girl who sweetly poured coffee for the fellas or the b—- who refused to do so.
Twenty-plus years ago, it was my second day on the job as the new HR manager for a meat processing company with five facilities in three states. I was the first woman ever on the management team.
It was the weekly staff meeting, my first in my new capacity. (I had attended several meetings in the past when the male HR manager had been on vacation.)
Without looking up, one of male peers asked, “Hey Jane, I need a refill on this cup of coffee. Pour me a cup, would ya?”
Pete (not his real name!), who was sitting next to the coffee carafe, chimed in with his request to pour one for him, too.
Sheesh.
Not exactly the call to participation or welcome I was hoping for. What to do, what to do, the words good girl and b—-h were dancing in my head. Neither label was one I wanted as I started my new duties. Because the meat-packing industry at the time was heavily male, I knew this sort of show-down was inevitable. I just hadn’t figured it would happen so soon.
As my mind raced, I stood up and moved to the back of the room to retrieve the coffee pot. My plan was set.
Stepping in beside Pete, I sloshed coffee into his cup — and on his notepad. Not saying a word, I moved over to Bill’s (again not his real name) side of the table, filling both his cup and the saucer with coffee.
“Jeez girl! You’ve got to be more careful next time,” exclaimed Pete as he wiped off his notepad.
“Fellas, there won’t be next time,” I said with a smile, taking my seat. “We’re very thoughtful about our past practices given the labor climate, so I see no reason to change our past practice of each person attending to their own coffee needs, especially since I make no claims about the accuracy of my pours! Agreed?”
They agreed, and I escaped without getting labeled.
Women of the work force: have you ever faced a similar stereotype situation? What was it, and what did you do?
I’d love to hear your stories!
Note: for more information about stereotypes you can read 21 Things to Know About Stereotypes
Image source: morgueFile.com
Been there, done that — as a male. When I was 22 (33 years ago) working for a finance company, my female boss used to yell at me from her office: “Hey Jim, get me a coffee!” I never thought to slosh the coffee, but then wouldn’t have lasted long on the job had I done that.
After a year I quit the firm to return to university to do a Masters. While I saw enough sexism in government during my career, up to my recent retirement, the private sector is worse.
Jim —
Interesting twist on the typical stereotype…thanks for sharing. Sexism, whether public or private sector, is terribly limiting — for all people impacted.
Without quite meaning to I’ve managed to derail that stereotype by busting a few others. First, I take my coffee black and unsweetened. People soon learn that I have a steady hand when pouring, but that I always get the “extras” wrong. (I think a tablespoon or so of milk in a 16 oz coffee mug is “light” – don’t you?) So I rarely get asked a second time.
Second, at one job I somehow became the primary person to replace the five-gallon bottle in the water cooler. Pick it up, flip it upside down, and plant it delicately (as delicately as one can plant five gallons of water sloshing in a plastic jug) on top of the cooler. Yes, often in a skirt and heels, a la Ginger Rogers. Apparently this does not suggest the sort of feminine domesticity that goes with fetching coffee.
The one time I was asked to provide “beverage service” on that job was when one of the partners hosted a group of Chinese businessmen at a meeting. He said he’d noticed my fondness for exotic teas, and would I please purchase something very special for the meeting? Shopping on company time and with a generous budget (considering it was, after all, just tea leaves), I chose with care as it was considered hospitality for special guests and potential clients. I even brewed and served the tea myself. Impression left: If you have traveled half-way around the world, I will make you tea. If you work here…. well, you know where the kitchenette is…
Karen – great stories — added a few more twists and turns, thanks for sharing!