1. March in the front door, proceed directly to your office, make no eye contact with anyone or engage them in conversation. Hey, you’re the boss. People should know that you have big, really big, things on your mind. You don’t have time for silly little pleasantries like saying “hello” or asking someone how they are.
2. Summon people to your office, right this very minute, and don’t bother telling them why you want to see them. Worry is good. Fear is better. You’ll tell them the subject when they arrive – why should you have to repeat yourself, for goodness sake.
3. Bask in the glow from the higher-ups when “your” good idea produces success. Quickly push your employees in front of the bus when “their” idea fails.
4. In John’s performance review, gloss over his performance and tell him how great he did. In the succession planning meeting with your peers, publicly announce that he’s a loser and on the fast-track out the door.
5. Hand out work assignments using as few words and directions as possible. You pay people to figure it out, right?
6. Demand that you approve every decision, no matter how large or small, before anything happens. Only you know best; that’s why they pay you the big bucks.
7. Set aside special time for the department tattle-tale to rat out co-workers and spill all the juicy juice about the latest office gossip. An informed boss is no doubt a good boss.
8. Flip-flop, either publicly or privately but both is best, on the important directive you briefly outlined yesterday. Don’t want anyone getting too comfy or set in their ways, do we?
9. Make sure your team members do not get assigned to cross-functional project teams or any other venue where they might hob-nob with people from other departments or levels within the company. Who knows who they might meet or god forbid, even impress.
10. Demand innovative thinking yet publicly humiliate anyone vulgar and brash enough to generate a new idea.
Here’s a call to action to make this ‘to do’ list as long as we possibly can.
Add at will and share widely so others can add their “best” suggestions, too!
Image source: Gratisography