“All I could look at in the meeting was Eric’s nose! Goodness, it’s so big I can’t believe it! He reminds me so much of a clown that I just can’t take him seriously.”
“Her voice is so annoying. That southern nasal tang drives me crazy.”
“Jessica is wearing, what, a size 14 these days? I remember when she was superthin and looked so much better. She’s really let herself go.”
No doubt, appearance is important in the workplace. Being well-groomed and presenting a professional image is part of the business success package.
Can’t and don’t dispute that.
Yet, despite what the media and movies might want us to believe about the importance of appearance, inner beauty must count for more. Maybe it’s a matter of getting older and having more lines, but, more and more, I see the value in taking and making the time to look past appearance. To see people at a deeper level, looking past the outer appearance to see what “lives” in someone’s head and heart. To not judge and attribute based only on what we see.
Character, compassion, empathy, and curiosity can all exist regardless of having a big nose, a twangy voice, or a generous waistline.
Isn’t that what we should be looking for? Right? Wrong?
Shouldn’t we look for the goodness on the inside despite what the outer package looks like? Won’t we find the richness and real depth of character there?
What’s your thoughts on not letting physical appearance shape how we view someone?
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Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world. ~Desmond Tutu
When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves. ~William Arthur Ward
Love chooses to believe the best about people. It gives them the benefit of the doubt. It refuses to fill in the unknowns with negative assumptions. And when our worst hopes are proven to be true, love makes every effort to deal with them and move forward. As much as possible, love focuses on the positive. ~Stephen Kendrick
Of course its’ what’s inside that counts. If nothing else the brain is inside. We are so hung up on looks and the media image of what beauty is. It is no longer a level playing field with nose jobs, face lifts, breast implants, botus etc. We learn early that what we have is not enough. That it’s OK to make fun of people, judge them by their looks. Makes me crazy.
Cherry — superficial physical beauty does get the spotlight unfortunately. It has become an accepted social norm to make fun of how people look, which obviously you and I think is inappropriate!
Hi Jane. What’s on the inside most definitely counts for most people I think. Yet I also think how we feel about ourselves shows in how we take care of and present whatever genetics has dealt us on the outside. Our inside can change the perception of our outside.
I have seen many people’s outward appearance transform, seemingly like magic, through transforming their perception of themselves and the world.
There will always be people who are shallow enough to judge people based on their appearance. The challenge is to not fall into the trap of judging ourselves.
Susan –
I always love the depth and richness of your comments!
It takes a large measure of self-confidence to shine one’s inner light especially if one’s outward appearance doesn’t fit the definition of beauty. Doing so is a measure of real beauty in my book.
Jane
Hi Jane and Susan,
Great conversation… and, Susan, I love your comment.
I most always “look better” when I am more confident in what genetics (two kids and not enough exercise/willpower) has dealt me!
If we feel confident “on the inside”, we will look confident “on the outside”… and people will have no choice but to be drawn to us, no matter what we look like!
I have seen this in action!
Sonia
Sonia –
You’re right that self-confidence is like a radiant magnet pulling people toward us, almost unbidden.
Yet, the other side of that nasty continuum — the one on which people don’t take the time to see the light shining within someone and rush to hasty judgment — does sadly rear its ugly head from time to time.
To seeing and appreciating shining lights everywhere —
Jane
“Re-examine all that you have been told… dismiss that which insults your soul.”
Walt Whitman quotes ( Poet, 1819-1892)
Cherry and Susan – big thanks for stopping by and sharing (nearly forgot my manners!)
To me, the need to judge someone by appearance alone is a reflection of the perceiver’s self-esteem. When we genuinely feel comfortable with who WE are, we’re much more interested in learning about what’s going on inside another person than what is seen on the outside. Some of the most attractive people I know are those whose inner beauty shines through in their words and actions.
Thanks for this brief, thought-provoking post, Jane, that reminds us what SHOULD be important when we look at and interact with another human being.
Meredith —
Beautifully put that if we’re comfortable with ourselves then we’re more open to the internal beauty of others!
With a smile,
Jane
Sonia – what a great quote…thanks for sharing it!