by Jane Perdue | Character
Got credibility issues?
Said by a perplexed employee to a co-worker:
“When will my boss get off my case? Sure, I made a huge mistake last quarter that nearly caused the client to drop us, and I was a little late in telling the boss about it. I’ve apologized and am changing my ways, but my boss keeps questioning everything I do. He’s treating me like I’m a new employee.”
Trust and credibility — a complicated, complex and fragile bond. One which requires time and effort to grow, and unfortunately only a nanosecond to tear apart.
A big mistake coupled with tardy disclosure is a sure-fire recipe for wiping out a boss’s faith in you and your abilities.
Credibility – the quality of being believable and trustworthy – is a precursor to trust, a “firm reliance on the integrity, ability or character of a person.” (thefreedictionary.com). To rebuild trust you must re-establish your credibility.
3 elements of credibility
There are three components to credibility:
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- Competence
- Character
- Charisma
All three components must be present before credibility happens.
Competence
You know what you know and what you can deliver, but what’s really vital is how others perceive your abilities.
Dr. Laurence J. Peter, creator of The Peter Principle, tells us, “Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.”
To help shape those perceptions of your competence:
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- Under-promise and over-deliver.
- Freely share – without tons of ego – information, resources and insights.
- Offer relevant suggestions to improve outcomes.
- Share personal success stories (keep chest-thumping to a minimum!).
Character
H. Jackson Brown Jr., author of Life’s Little Instruction Book, offers a great definition, “Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking.”
To build character:
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- Be fair – present both sides of an issue, topic, etc.
- Consistently walk the talk.
- Offer assistance and follow through – and up – to make it happen.
- Manage inclusion and avoid stereotypes.
Charisma
What’s charisma got to do with trust, you might ask. Dr. Nick Morgan, author and former Harvard professor, offers up his “Principle X” which says “authenticity and charisma derive from becoming open, connected, passionate and listening with and to” those around you.
You may find out that you have charisma after all if you:
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- Show genuine enthusiasm in what you do and in those around you.
- Smile.
- Operate from the glass half full perspective.
- Listen; really listen, for meaning and understanding.
Credibility matters because it leads to trust – which is the cornerstone of relationships, and relationships are the building blocks of your personal and professional success. It’s up to you to make it all happen!
What say you?
Image source: morgueFile
by Jane Perdue | Character
A 10-month period is what we had in common.
Ten months of misery. Ten months with a new boss focused on fixing us because we were broken.
His toolkit was full of medieval broken management cures and was toted by a sinister unsmiling sidekick.
Broken rules that broke us
His favorite ways to torture:
Only I approve purchases.
Purchase approval privileges were revoked for all employees at all levels. Invoices for equipment, office supplies, uniforms, etc. piled high in his office. Soon vendors thought the company was broken because bills weren’t being paid.
I decide where the money is spent.
Friday pizza lunches, gift cards and morning donuts were declared a waste of money and banned. Employees started thinking we were broken, too, because all those fun and sometimes impromptu we’re-glad-you-work-here activities abruptly stopped.
Consult with me before making any decisions.
Woe unto the leader who had the temerity to call a shot, even a little one. Customers and clients came to believe we were broken, too, since everyone smiled politely and said “I’ll have to get back to you on that” over and over.
Report, in writing, every thing you, and your team, did last month.
A written manuscript, with tens of pages and attachments, detailing qualitative and quantitative activities and results was laboriously prepared and submitted the first of the month. The Fixer must know where all our time was going. Soon, we thought we were broken, too, because where we chose to spend our time was always the wrong choice.
I’ll never forget the day The Fixer was asked to leave. He sat in my office and cried.
I cried, too, but for an entirely different reason.
Image source: morgueFile.com
by Jane Perdue | Character
“All I could look at in the meeting was Eric’s nose! Goodness, it’s so big I can’t believe it! He reminds me so much of a clown that I just can’t take him seriously.”
“Her voice is so annoying. That southern nasal tang drives me crazy.”
“Jessica is wearing, what, a size 14 these days? I remember when she was superthin and looked so much better. She’s really let herself go.”
No doubt, appearance is important in the workplace. Being well-groomed and presenting a professional image is part of the business success package.
Can’t and don’t dispute that.
Yet, despite what the media and movies might want us to believe about the importance of appearance, inner beauty must count for more. Maybe it’s a matter of getting older and having more lines, but, more and more, I see the value in taking and making the time to look past appearance. To see people at a deeper level, looking past the outer appearance to see what “lives” in someone’s head and heart. To not judge and attribute based only on what we see.
Character, compassion, empathy, and curiosity can all exist regardless of having a big nose, a twangy voice, or a generous waistline.
Isn’t that what we should be looking for? Right? Wrong?
Shouldn’t we look for the goodness on the inside despite what the outer package looks like? Won’t we find the richness and real depth of character there?
What’s your thoughts on not letting physical appearance shape how we view someone?
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Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world. ~Desmond Tutu
When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves. ~William Arthur Ward
Love chooses to believe the best about people. It gives them the benefit of the doubt. It refuses to fill in the unknowns with negative assumptions. And when our worst hopes are proven to be true, love makes every effort to deal with them and move forward. As much as possible, love focuses on the positive. ~Stephen Kendrick
by Jane Perdue | Character
“Guys, my meeting with Sam Blackstone was great! That sports talk radio show we’ve been dreaming about might just happen,” exclaimed Carl.
Pete, Harry and David were on the edge of their seats – overwhelmed to hear that Sam Blackstone, owner of several radio and TV stations, now knew about their shared dream.
Perhaps it would work out this time. Pete, Harry and David had been right to add Carl to their group – he was making things happen.
Sharing their knowledge and love of sports in a radio talk show was the perfect outlet for their passion. The only drawback had been getting access to Sam Blackstone.
Carl had volunteered to take the lead, and he had delivered.
“Sam said he loved our concept,” said Carl. “We talked about it for a long time.”
Just then, Jimmy stopped by. “Hey Carl, did you tell the boys about being in line at Starbucks behind none other than the great Sam Blackstone himself and how you tried to talk to him about the radio show?”
“Hey, wait a minute,” said David. “Carl, you said there was a meeting with Sam. Did that happen after seeing him at Starbucks?”
“If there was a meeting, a miracle happened after I left,” declared Jimmy. “Big powerful Sam didn’t give Carl the time of day.”
Pete, Harry and David all turned to Carl. “Did you have a meeting with him or not?”
With averted eyes, Carl replied, “No, not really. But what I told you is what I plan to tell him when I do get to meet with him. I know I can make that happen.”
Credibility and trust—so precious, so easily lost, and so hard to regain. Embellishment happens on tee shirts, not to the truth.
3 ways to keep the truth and your credibility
• If you find yourself tempted to stretch the facts because you want to save people from feeling disappointed—don’t! When they discover the truth, and they will, their disappointment will share center stage with disdain for you and your lack of integrity.
• Promise to deliver what you can deliver. Over-promising and under-delivering gets you in hot water, every time.
• Own up to your blunders. Most people will forgive when you’re forthright and ‘fess up to your mistakes. Forgiveness comes much harder when you’ve not been truthful or tried to cover up the real facts.
What say you?
Image source: morgueFile.com
by Jane Perdue | Character
Conversation over-heard at local coffee shop:
“Look at that sorry dude out there, holding that big sign pointing to the new grocery store. What a pathetic way to earn a living.”
“Hey, I think you’re off the mark thinking he’s pathetic. He looks like he’s having a ball out to me. Look at that little dance he’s doing when the cars are stopped at the red light. How fun!.”
Pathetic versus fun. It’s these widely divergent points of view that make life challenging…and fun…and stressful…and fascinating…and rich with opportunity. The key to personal growth in these situations is awareness coupled with tolerance.
Neither of the two participants in the above conversation were wrong in their assessment of the situation. We all see the world through our own filters. Where they could easily go wrong would be in becoming judgmental of the other’s point of view.
Diversity of thought brings good complexity
My grandfather’s work philosophy — if I have two people who think alike on my team, I don’t need one of them — may be a touch extreme but underscores the value of respecting, and encouraging, multiple approaches.
Try looking at the issues through a different lenses, valuing dissimilar principles and drawing diverse conclusions. This open 360 view can yield a beautiful “crazy quilt” solution that incorporates this diversity of thought.
Diversity trumps ability. ~Scott E. Page, professor of complex systems, political science and economics
Moving from diversity to inclusion can be a leader’s energy drink.
Who has all the answers? I know I don’t!
By incorporating other’s viewpoints (those insights and connections that would never have occurred to us) into our personal data banks gives us a richer cache of thoughts and experiences with which to frame our future actions and behaviors. Put out your “personal solar panels” and start collecting new experiences. Seek out the lessons to be learned from divergent approaches.
Keep yourself under your own tolerance microscope
No call here for being a narcissist just an earnest plea for self-awareness.
Ask yourself: am I automatically rejecting someone’s point of view simply because it’s different from mine?
You don’t have to agree, just appreciate their viewpoint and do so without judgment.
What other advice would you offer?
Image source before quote: morgueFile.com
by Jane Perdue | Character
Willing to give your risk muscle a workout and take on the elephant in the room?
Recently I facilitated a workshop on power and influence for a group of high potential women and minorities working for a Fortune 500 firm. During a discussion about the push/pull polarities of influence, a participant commented that the core issue for her was the willingness to influence.
Do you do it or not?
How much do you use your influence for change when what needs changing is the long-cherished yet out-of-touch-with-reality status quo?
Her courageous workshop take-away was to take the risk and use her thought leader status to begin influencing new directions. She said she believed she owed it to her colleagues, the organization and herself to do so. What a powerful moment.
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live. ~Leo F. Buscaglia
Round peg in the proverbial square hole
The risk is being the square peg in the round hole, wearing kelly green when colleagues are wearing charcoal grey, daring — albeit politely — to be the corporate contrarian.
Risking your secure place in the corporate food chain by questioning new practices that run contrary to stated values is a high stake gamble. Will you be rewarded, take a small hit or lose it all?
According to Julie J. McGowan, professor at Indiana University,
Risk taking is hard to adopt among leaders, because recognized leaders have the most to lose and aspiring leaders may be discounted as lacking in knowledge or common sense.
Risk-taking can yield both great rewards and create possibilities for growth provided you do your homework ahead of time.
Assessing your tolerance for workplace risk-taking requires you to know yourself and understand the work environment.
Do your elephant homework
To get yourself grounded and prepared to take a risk, consider:
- Historically, how has your corporate culture reacted to those who challenged the status quo?
- Are you prepared to accept the possible outcomes? Are you willing to have your credibility eroded? Are you equipped to lose your job?
- Is this an issue that’s important to you alone, or do others share similar concerns?
- Will others who think/feel/believe the same speak up after you’ve led the charge, or will your voice be the only one that’s speaking? Are you ready to forge ahead regardless?
- Are you willing to be the center of attention if your topic goes viral within the company?
- Are you primed to be emulated and/or attacked?
- Do you have solid solutions and/or alternatives to offer?
- Are you disposed to collaborate with others and devise a solution that integrates the views of many?
- Have you brainstormed possible unintended consequences, both positive and negative, of the stand you’re championing?
- Are you OK, mentally and emotionally, with the possibility of failure?
- Will your self-esteem survive the hit? Can your ego resist the adulation of success?
- Do you have the will to see it through?
- Do you have a support system that will nurture you throughout, regardless of the outcome?
Taking on the elephant in the room is a personal choice. Only you can decide if high risk/high reward is your métier or if low risk/low reward represents the boundaries of your comfort zone.
Be prepared. Be thoughtful. Do what’s right.
What’s been your experience in taking on the elephant in the room?
Image source before quote: morgueFile.com
