by Jane Perdue | Leadership
It took me over 20 years of working in corporate America to realize my soul was ebbing away a wee bit every year. Finally, l leapt and left before it was all gone.
The relentless focus on the bottom line and the you’re-only-as-good-as-your-last-set-of-numbers mentality extracted a toll, only part of which was visible.
I was surprised by the length of my “corporate detox” period and, in fact, that it was even necessary.
I expected a transition—moving from a Fortune 100 vice president position to being a first-time entrepreneur is a hefty leap—but I didn’t expect that leap to be as momentous as it turned out to be.
I knew I had changed over the years. A Midwest gal raised on trust and your-word-is-your-bond had a lot to learn in corporate America; and I needed to learn it fast, being the only woman on several leadership teams.
Over the years, I prided myself on resisting drinking the go-along-to-get-along Kool-Aid. A few bosses were delighted by my well-mannered maverick approach; others not so much.
During my “corporate detox” period, I discovered that I had indeed sipped some of that kool-aid over the years, despite how I tried to convince myself I hadn’t.
It was fascinating to discover how I had “inoculated” myself to some realities that didn’t become clear until I no longer sat in the corner office. Goodness, how we let ourselves be blind…
An executive coach friend introduced me to the work of David Whyte, poet and author. One of his books, The Heart Aroused, Poetry and the Preservation of the Soul in Corporate America, became a favorite.
5 courageous conversations leaders should be having
I was particularly intrigued by David’s concept of the five “courageous conversations” a good leader (one interested in the art and discipline of leadership as David phrased it) should be having.
1. The first leadership conversation is with the unknown future. Frequently ask yourself: Am I prepared, both personally and professionally, for what is coming?
2. The second leadership conversation is with customers, vendors, employees, etc., who represent the organization’s future. Ask these people: What can we do for you? How can we serve?
3.The third leadership conversation occurs with different parts of the organization. You should be asking these groups: How can we collaborate to create positive outcomes for our customers and shareholders while fostering employee engagement?
4.The fourth leadership conversation is held with your work group and colleagues. Be asking these people: How can I best communicate and team up with you to achieve mutually beneficial outcomes?
5. And the last leadership conversation—the one on which all others are predicated—is the conversation with that “tricky moveable frontier called yourself.” Ask yourself: Am I living my purpose and passion every day?
Powerful stuff, isn’t it? It’s both liberating and a tad frightening to answer those question.
I wonder: had I been having these five conversations on a regular basis across my career, would my stay in corporate America have been shorter, or would it still be ongoing because I was more attuned?
Hmmm….that’s a lovely personal puzzle to unravel some day over a mug of strong coffee, a bite of two of some really rich chocolate, and some good, reflective conversation with a fellow corporate refugee.
As you look back over your career in light of Whyte’s five conversations, what say you…about you?
Image source before quote: morgueFile.com
by Jane Perdue | Leadership
My holidays arrived earlier than expected – reading the Leadership Development Carnival submissions felt like opening present after present, 53 of them to be precise! Many posts were gifts of self-improvement or celebrations of connecting, aiding and giving. A few even thoughtfully challenged some long-held traditions.
Grab an eggnog or a hot chocolate, and treat yourself (several times!) to some holiday leadership gifts as you read and absorb the wealth of wisdom and experience shared and celebrated here.
Gifts for Helping Others Grow
The always informative Trish McFarlane presents some great insights for handling long tenured employees 5 Strategies To Coach Employees Who Have Become Institutionalized posted at HR Ringleader.
Laura Schroeder gives us the scoop on why using straight talk with employees is the right way to go in Managers: Time to Talk Turkey at Working Girl.
Kevin Eikenberry redirects our thought processes and challenges our assumptions in How to Get Lazy People to Work atLeadership and Learning with Kevin Eikenberry.
Paul Slater gifts us with insights for fostering and developing the next generation of leaders in What Young Leaders Need posted at Mushcado.
The erudite Anne Perschel serves up the importance of employee fingerprints in transformation in A Word or Two About Change at Germane Insights.
Andrew Rondeau passes along valuable information for handling disagreements in Conflict Resolution In The Workplace posted at Great Management.
Wally Bock gives us a year-round gift in Bosses: Give Frequent and Usable Feedback from Three Star Leadership.
Celebrating Connections and Giving
Anna Farmery makes a complete and compelling case for the power of connecting in 10 Business Connections You MUST make found at The Engaging Brand.
Tanveer Naseer persuasively builds the foundation as to why fostering a sense of collective purpose is important in Encouraging Your Employees to Reach for the Moon at TanveerNaseer.com.
Eric Pennington asks us to examine our aspirations and motivations in Aspiring To What’s Not Really There at Epic Living.
Using her profuse talents, Mary Jo Asmus provokes us to think about breathing into ourselves in How to Inspire Others found at Aspire Collaborative Solutions.
It’s always the season for giving, and Janet Helm encourages us to generously do so in The Giving Project – That Extra Twinkle at Lead by Giving
Some Holiday Twinkle and Cheer
The always instructive and helpful Jennifer V. Miller humorously challenges The Urban Legend of Command and Control Management found at The People Equation.
Wayne Turmel gives us a tongue-in-cheek view of innovation in Fire: an idea that will never catch on at Management Issues.
Presents for Becoming a Better Leader
Jason Seiden dares us to have the guts and patience to go for excellence in The Race to Mediocrity at Next Generation Talent Development.
John Spence shares some awesomely simple yet profound insights regarding What Does “Talent” Look For in a Leader? at Achieving Business Excellence.
From Afghanistan, Tom Magness makes the time to offer insights for honing our decision-making skills in Deciding to Decide at Leader Business.
Jim Taggart asks us to reflect our level of knowledge in Do You Know the Difference Between Corporate Culture and Climate? at ChangingWinds.
Thoughtful leader that he is, Mike Henry Sr. shares a thought-provoking post by Erin Schreyer on Change is Good! How’s Your Leadership in the Midst of It? from the Lead Change Group Blog.
The inspirational Art Petty serves up Leadership Caffeine: How to Grow Your Leadership Credibility in 15 Easy Lessons at Management Excellence.
Making Merry and Pushing Comfort Zones
The ever-insightful Dan McCarthy offers a great road map for HR relevancy in A Four Stage Leadership Development Model found at Great Leadership.
Rich Maltzman rightfully points out that Sometimes, the obvious is not so obvious posted at Earth PM.
At LeaderLab, David Burkus explores why Are leaders born or made? is asking the wrong question.
Tim Porthouse prompts us to reflect on what kind of boss we are in A Tale of Two Bosses at Zealeap – Leadership 3.0.
Once again, Steve Roesler pushes our comfort zone by illustrating how to be more specific about communicating and defining change in I’ll Change: Tell Me Exactly What You Want at All Things Workplace.
Jim Taggart shares his intriguing thoughts on how leaders must respect geographic, cultural and market uniqueness in Disrupting General Electric: Changing its Mindset Through Reverse Innovation at ChangingWinds.
Under the Learning Tree
Wishing more 21st century organizations were learning ones? Gwyn Teatro beautifully re-introduces us to the five timeless principles of Peter Senge in Leaders and the Learning Organization posted at You’re Not the Boss of Me.
Bret L. Simmons educates us regarding definitions and practices for Authentic Leadership at Bret L. Simmons.
Adi Gaskell shares interesting “who knew” research about The smell of fear and its impact on risk taking posted at The Management Blog.
Sean McGinnis presents a thoughtful case for Knowing “Why” Makes You Better found at 312 Digital.
William Matthies reminds us of the importance of the willingness to Be Convinced . . . And Prepared To Change Your Mind posted at Business Wisdom: Words to Manage By.
Nissim Ziv drops a gift for supervisors down the chimney: What Makes a Good Supervisor? 10 Qualities of a Good Supervisor at Job Interview Guide.
Janna Rust reminds us to be mindful of our Emotions and Productivity, a post found at Purposeful Leadership.
Joyfully Becoming Better
The amazing one and only Sharlyn Lauby gifts us with Being Strategic and Creating Strategy Aren’t the Same Thing found at HR Bartender.
Steve Tringham shares insights for handling Problems and Confrontation at Peopleware.
In his inaugural Idea Lab post, the ever-inventive Mark Stelzner presents The HR Idea Lab: Analyze the Analysts at Inflexion Advisors.
Amy Wilson serves up a simple truth in They’ll Be Back posted at Talented Apps.
Complete with a delightful cartoon, Benjamin McCall encourages us to step up and When all else fails, make a decision found at ReThinkHR.
Holiday Potpourri
Randall Davidson provides us with resources in The Top 101 Productivity Blogs of 2010 at Transcription Blog.
David Zinger offers a short haiku on leadership in Workaiku: Iceberg posted at Employee Engagement Zingers.
Miki Saxon encourages us to prepare for 2011 success by planning right now in The Start of Planning Season at MAPping Company Success.
Orson Bean offers a multitude of resources for managing knowledge and content in Top 50 Knowledge Management Blogs at Biz-gasm.
Erin Pavlina tells a heart-warming story about how you can Believe It and Achieve It posted at Erin Pavlina.
Shankar Anand offers thoughts about managing and creating Brand You at Shankaranand’s Blog.
Nick McCormick takes a different sharing tack and offers up a podcast on how to Identify Your Islands of Profit found at Joe and Wanda – on Management.
Using trains as an interesting metaphor, Andy Klein prompts us to ponder Does your business run like a conventional train or the Shinkansen? at Fortune Group Blog.
Lynn Dessert presents tips and insights for overcoming fear so we can be more effective at Managing Social Media in Organizations posted at Elephants at Work.
Happy reading and happy holidays to all! The talented and tireless Dan McCarthy will host the January 2011 edition of the Leadership Development Carnival at Great Leadership. Please use the Carnival Submission form if you would like to submit a post.
NOTE: not all links work anymore! As websites have changed, moved, or been deleted, access have been lost to some of the materials shared.
by Shauna Heathman | Leadership
This guest post is from the multi-talented- and-faceted Shauna Heathman. Shauna wears lots of hats: Entrepreneur, Content Marketer, and Communication Specialist.
The impression you make on others plays a significant role in having influence over those you lead. Making a positive impression often requires the simplest of actions; most requiring very little effort.
Unfortunately, it’s these actions that often get overlooked and carry the heaviest impact. One of these simple concepts, yet the hardest to implement, is acknowledgment.
Power in recognition
Simple acknowledgment can go a long way among colleagues, employees and your peers. Reflecting back over the most influential leaders in your life will prove that most, if not all, of these individuals excelled in this arena.
For example, the effortless act of saying good morning to your coworkers is more than just an expression and often taken for granted. This small and almost automatic ritual of greeting your peers consistently shows that you acknowledge their existence and that this matters to you.
Acknowledgement such as this also performs a crucial job.
It establishes respect and serves as an intrinsic monitor for the good standing of a relationship. One would worry should you walk in one morning and not say hello.
A forgotten or purposely avoided greeting can cause others to be uneasy and question their good standing. Have you put thought into how one failed acknowledgment can affect the people around you? A negative mood or a bad day often causes us to turn inward. But just because we’re temporarily unavailable to others doesn’t mean we should treat them as invisible.
Powerful greeting trinity
Another form of acknowledgment we tend to overlook is the powerful greeting trinity:
- A firm handshake
- Steady eye-contact
- Recognition of one’s name
How many times do you forget someone’s name you just met after shaking their hand? This happens when we forget to fully acknowledge that person.
When you shake their hand and take the extra second to process their name, you’re not just merely adhering to etiquette. You’re proving your ability to honor their existence. You’re covertly saying to them, you are important and deserve recognition. Taking the time to remember a name is the ultimate form of validation and respect.
Acknowledgement can also come in other forms: holding the door open, smiling or nodding your head as you pass someone on the street, introducing a newcomer to a group conversation, remembering to congratulate a peer on a recent accomplishment, smiling and saying hello to the woman at the check-out counter … the list goes on.
You have endless opportunities to honor the people around you through acknowledgment.
Social intelligence
A successful leader understands the concept of social intelligence and is able to make others feel good in their presence by doing so. Those who go on with their lives, proceeding through daily routines as if the people around them are invisible may only achieve a temporary and hollow influence.
What is so burdensome in life that we can’t take an extra second for acknowledgment?
Without acknowledgment of the people around us, relationships don’t exist. And without relationships, there’s no leadership.
A leader, after all, is a person followed by others.
And sometimes, all it takes to gain a following is simple, yet sincere acknowledgement of a person’s existence.
“A greeting is a minimal yet meaningful conferral of honor on a person for just being a person.” ~P.M. Forni
by Jane Perdue | Leadership
“I told my boss twice that our position on the harassment lawsuit was pretty good. So I don’t get why he went off the Richter scale when I told him about the proposed settlement offer. Sometimes, there’s no telling with that guy.”
“You know how he is about money. Had you told him that a settlement was one of the possible outcomes?”
“I think our attorney might have mentioned it early on…”
While this scenario is rich with opportunity (I so love that phrase!) in a multitude of areas, let’s focus on the gaps in the communication process that contributed to the boss going off the charts. John Maxwell has a great quote that comes into play here:
“Many communicate, few connect.”
In the communication process, the sender of the message is in control up to time the message receiver begins to decode the information delivered.
Yet many times we, as the messenger deliverer, fail to take full ownership of the communication process, which is what happened here. The only way to know if a message was received and decoded (the way we want it understood) is to ask, not assume.
5 things we want
To communicate — and connect — consider:
We want to be understood…yet fail to verify that our communication was successful by requesting feedback.
We want acceptance and agreement from others…yet don’t take or make the time to identify their communication style so we can connect in a way that’s meaningful to them.
We want to understand others…yet we evaluate the messenger rather than their message.
We want action or a response from the other person…yet we fail to let them know what specific outcomes we are looking for from them.
We want to be heard and listened to…yet we fail to concentrate on quality of our message or to give gift of our attention.
What part of the communication process will you take ownership for today?
What tips and pointers for effective, meaningful communication and connection do you have to share?
Image source before quote: morgueFile.com
by Jane Perdue | Leadership
On a recent trip to the Northeast, we travelled a two-mile stretch of rural road where the speed limit changed six times! There were no changes in road conditions, elevation or population density.
The first sign upping the speed limit to 55 mph was welcome.
Great, we can go faster!
The second sign read 60 mph.
Sweet, get to speed it up.
Sign number three read 45 mph.
That’s odd, nothing seems different. Why the change?
The fourth sign showed 55 mph.
Geez, can’t they make up their minds?
Sign number five reduced the speed limit to 35 mph.
Come on, this is getting annoying and silly!
The sixth sign read 45 mph.
Oh, whatever!
Later, as we recounted the speed limit sign adventure to our hosts, it occurred to me that I had had a few bosses whose leadership directions changed as abruptly as those road signs.
This is an important project. Get moving now. We want to show the guys upstairs we can make this happen.
Wait, I need you to slow down. Things are moving too fast.
Hurry up, we’re losing time. You have to get this done right now, don’t care what I said before, just do it.
Ease up, stop pushing so hard.
Each set of instructions was inconsistent with the last, with little to no explanation offered or context provided.
What’s your take?
Is there a lesson to be learned here about how you direct your team?
Have you said those hurry up / no, wait, slow down words to them? Have you been inconsistent with your team without offering a reason for the change?
What say you?
Image source before quote: morgueFile.com
by Jane Perdue | Leadership
Effective leaders use their heads to manage and their hearts to lead.
Do you aspire to be that kind of leader?
If so, getting your interactions with others right depends on you getting you right – first.
And getting you right requires:
- introspection: casting a caring yet clinically objective eye on your interests, skills, qualities and values; and
- self-awareness: a non-judgmental understanding of how you respond, react, engage and interact.
Getting to know what makes you tick requires a super-sized serving of fortitude because sometimes that mirror reflects self-truths we’d prefer not to know.
It’s easy to point a finger at the management teams of BP, Toyota, Lehman Brothers, and on and on and declare that their leadership practices need to change. That’s really taking on the 800 pound gorilla! Plus, it’s a gorilla of a scale and scope that’s beyond our reach.
What is within our reach is making ourselves better. Stop for a moment and think about your own leadership legacy. Will it be a good story? A bad one? Or something so-so?
If your current reality and future legacy aren’t what you want them to be, now that’s an 800 pound gorilla you can conquer—provided you begin with the mindset of taking one bite at a time. Going slow and thoughtful keeps you focused and the task manageable.
Start be getting connected to what goes on in your head and your heart. Then use that wisdom and knowledge to connect with, lead and inspire others. Be your own improvement project!
5 do-it-yourself leadership improvement bites to chew on
1. Know your hot buttons.
Get familiar with what sets you off and build some fail-safe processes ahead of time. One of my hot buttons is missed deadlines, especially those that come and go without advance notice that there’s a problem. My workaround has been to use a two-part ground rule that’s communicated early on: deadlines are jointly negotiated and a heads-up regarding barriers to completion is an expected practice and courtesy from all involved.
2. Know how you learn.
Do you learn best by doing? Reading? Touching? Seeing? Noodling it over? Tailor your own practices to fit your style. Share those insights with those around you so they don’t have to waste time guessing.
3. Know your top five values.
Many life and career mistakes – and heartache – can be avoided if you make/take the time to inventory those principles that are “must haves” in your life. Understanding your values becomes a yardstick against which you assess what you do. Taking a wrong-fit job will become a thing of the past as will feeling unfulfilled and disengaged.
4. Know what you’re really good at doing.
Get a firm grip on your strengths and put yourself in situations where you can maximize them (without over-playing them).
5. Know what personal skills you lack.
Knowing your weaknesses is real strength. If you’re an introvert and meeting strangers makes your stomach knot up, the nonprofit job you’re considering that requires you to regularly network with community leaders to raise funds probably has a skill gap between your preferences and the job requirements that’s too large to bridge successfully and/or comfortably. Spending time “correcting” your weakness isn’t the best use of your time, just use this knowledge to guide yourself into situations where your strengths take center stage.
I’m fond of saying that real leaders think more about we and less about me. To get to that thoughtfully self-aware position, focus first on yourself, and get firmly grounded in your own emotional intelligence so you can be successful in leading others.
What say you?
Image source before quote: morgueFile.com
