communication and connection“I told my boss twice that our position on the harassment lawsuit was pretty good. So I don’t get why he went off the Richter scale when I told him about the proposed settlement offer. Sometimes, there’s no telling with that guy.”

“You know how he is about money. Had you told him that a settlement was one of the possible outcomes?”

“I think our attorney might have mentioned it early on…”

While this scenario is rich with opportunity (I so love that phrase!) in a multitude of areas, let’s focus on the gaps in the communication process that contributed to the boss going off the charts. John Maxwell has a great quote that comes into play here:

“Many communicate, few connect.”

In the communication process, the sender of the message is in control up to time the message receiver begins to decode the information delivered.

Yet many times we, as the messenger deliverer, fail to take full ownership of the communication process, which is what happened here. The only way to know if a message was received and decoded (the way we want it understood) is to ask, not assume.

5 things we want

To communicate — and connect — consider:

We want to be understood…yet fail to verify that our communication was successful by requesting feedback.

We want acceptance and agreement from others…yet don’t take or make the time to identify their communication style so we can connect in a way that’s meaningful to them.

We want to understand others…yet we evaluate the messenger rather than their message.

We want action or a response from the other person…yet we fail to let them know what specific outcomes we are looking for from them.

We want to be heard and listened to…yet we fail to concentrate on quality of our message or to give gift of our attention.

What part of the communication process will you take ownership for today?

What tips and pointers for effective, meaningful communication and connection do you have to share?

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