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live with courage not regretMy movement from hurt feelings to sympathy happened fairly quickly after a friend had the courage to reach out and apologize for not calling me during my sick leave.

She said she had meant to call or send a card countless times but that something for work always got in the way.

Her remorse was obvious.

What resonated with me so much was how I identified with her good intentions getting lost in the swirl of appointments, endless to-do lists, and dealing with grumpy, impatient bosses addicted to impossibly short deadlines.

I’d been there.

Countless times, but one particular situation haunts me. I lacked the courage to set boundaries and honor friendship over my boss’s approval.

A friend’s husband asked her for a divorce. They’d been together for a long time, and she thought they were happily married. My friend was dumbfounded to learn her husband had been seeing someone for over a year. 

Her ordeal was happening at the same time my job was operating at warp speed. My employer was in the process of a merger, and I was the HR/OD point person. A workday of less than 14 hours was a treat.

Along with hubby time and sleep, time with my friend took a backseat to the demands of my work. Because I allowed that to happen, our friendship eroded, then ended, and the fault was all mine.

My friend couldn’t forgive me for not being there anytime she needed support. Her withdrawal hurt and made me sad, but I understood her position. I’d let work become my number one priority and wasn’t there for her.

Did I do the right thing?

My boss and employer would say absolutely.

Others disagree.

At the time, I thought I’d made the right choice. I now see how wrong I was.

We all get to decide what’s important to us. Where we spend our time. Who we spend it with. What boundaries we set. What master we choose to serve.

That boss and employer are part of my past. They sure didn’t send me a get well card this summer. In fact, they didn’t even say thank you for the merger that was so well-received by the employees of both companies.

I made an either/or choice years ago when I should have made a both/and one. I should have figured out how to carve out quality time for my friend and manage my work.

I should have been courageous enough to tell my boss that I was going to manage all my priorities, not just the work-related ones, but I wasn’t.

Today I have that courage. I just wish I’d found it sooner.

 

Image source before quote:  morgueFile.com