How to motivate others, whether it is your child, employee, colleague or friend, is never simple.
It requires the delicate balance of constructive feedback, sensitivity to the recipient and inspiration.
You must meet the person where they are, or your words will not have the impact you were hoping for.
I personally run into this problem with my eighteen year old son.
Whatever I say, it comes from a place he knows nothing about. I hate to admit it but I repeat the same old “advice” which results in the usual “I know” or “I’ve got it under control.” (I only hope to live long enough to watch him be a parent. That will be poetic justice). The ongoing issue of grades and commitment to academics as a “second semester” senior in high school has been painful for both of us.
An epiphany!
Then, I had one of those epiphany moments! I am doing my usual five pound weights when it hits me. I have continued to use those weights even though it is no longer a challenge and probably not very useful.
I believe it’s called complacency.
There are times when all of us fall into our routines without challenging ourselves beyond where we are. That day I bought ten pound weights. The difference was incredible, and it felt invigorating to “raise the bar.”
When I told my son, I actually think he got it!!! Now, we no longer engage in the same repetitive conversation. All I need to say is “how are things going with the ten pound weights?”
Sometimes, a picture is worth a thousand words.
Simple but highly effective!
“Motivation is everything. You can do the work of two people, but you can’t be two people. Instead, you have to inspire the next guy down the line and get him to inspire his people.” ~Lee Iacocca
About today’s guest contributor: Sharon Becker, LISW, ACSW, is a licensed private practice therapist with over 25 years of counseling experience.
Image credit: morgueFile
