Some of the most startling shifts in my understanding have occurred from insights my children discovered and shared with me.

A case in point is a conversation I had with my son, Michael, when he was twelve years old.  

Mike: I don’t understand belief. 

Dad: What don’t you understand? 

Mike: Why do we need it? 

Dad: Because it’s part of life. 

Mike: But Dad, if we know something, we know it, right? 

Dad: Yes. 

Mike: And if we don’t know something, we don’t know it, right? 

Dad: Uh-huh. 

Mike: And if we are not comfortable with not knowing, then we make something up and call it a belief, right? 

Dad: Right. 

Mike: Well, why don’t we just say what we know, not say what we don’t know, and save ourselves the trouble of having to create belief? 

In his youthful innocence, my son had stumbled on an obvious fact: most of the content in the human mind functions as a buffer for a large group of sensitive egos who simply can’t tolerate not knowing.

My son had clearly seen that the emperor had no clothes.

I ask you to consider the possibility that your long cherished beliefs may block the very essence of who you are and the response of the leader you hope to be. Can you suspend belief and stand in the unknown and unmarked place that all great leaders embrace? 

4 signs you might be defending your castle of belief

1) Breakthroughs aren’t happening

Like most leaders, you know the sense of cracking the code and creating leadership breakthroughs; but now you find yourself mired in a slump. When this happens, most managers begin looking at the outer structural reasons this might be happening. This is a good practice. Yet, when there are ‘no moving parts’ to maneuver where is the next place you look? Now it’s time to examine the things you claim have to be the way they are. The more strongly you feel this way, the more likely you have a belief that’s ready for examination. 

2) You are doing lots of defending

It’s a bumpy ride when you have to consistently defend your own beliefs.  How could it be that every person on your team is challenging you right now? How irritating! When you notice this happening, it’s time to look at your belief. This one is easy because usually all of your attackers are seeing something you might not see. So humor them for a minute and dive deeply into the idiotic approach they seem to all agree you’re taking. A surprise might be waiting for you. 

3) You feel isolated

This may seem similar to defending and it is. The difference is you may not be defending yet you are internally rejecting the idiocy of incoming ideas, a process that will soon isolate you as a leader.  It’s not the same bumpy ride but an intense sense of ‘something is off here.’  This is another trigger to look at what it is you don’t see that others are seeing so clearly. The solution is engaging these bad ideas and following them through the creative process. Turn yourself loose on a bad idea and see if you can make it work. Others may not have it exactly right, but your creativity added to theirs will likely make a difference. 

4) You are missing the leadership spark

I’m talking about the bigger picture here. Many times the beliefs we hold can begin to limit how we contribute overall. When we hold tenaciously to what has always worked, it often creates a container too small for our growth. Think about it for a second: everything outside your current understanding is unknown; it when we cross that boundary when we get the leadership spark. When we self-impose prison towers, the spark of creativity leaves. When you feel the overall dread of doing what you love to do, ask yourself why that’s so. 

I’ve outlined here the beginning of becoming a great leader.

Why?

Because in addition to the competencies you obviously bring to the party, something new is added. Your willingness to eliminate yourself as an obstacle to leadership outcomes is the big bridge all great leaders must cross.

These few pointers put you on the bridge to internal expansion so you can become what I call an Awakened Leader.  

Today’s LeadBIG guest post is from Alan E. Shelton, leadership coach, speaker, blogger, and author of Awakened Leadership: Beyond Self-Mastery.

Book cover image courtesy of author