“Mia, you’ve assembled an excellent list of options. Based on what you’ve told me, I don’t have any other suggestions to offer. I do have a question though, why are you still gathering options?”

“It’s very disappointing you can’t offer anything new. I was told you’d be able to help me work toward my goal.”

“That depends on what your goal is. Is it adding to an already long list of options? Or is it achieving what you say you want?”

**cue silence, a very long one**

Finally, Mia sighed, then spoke. “I just realized I’ve spent the last two years postponing a decision. I’ve found fault with and reasons why no suggestion was possible. I’ve criticized coaches for their mediocre performance. I’ve quit seeing certain friends who kept pushing me to move forward. I kept blaming everyone when the real road block was me.”

**cue a new beginning**

Resistance is mental and emotional quicksand, sucking you in and under, sometimes without your awareness.

If you find yourself standing at the crossroads for an inordinately long time or asking different people (lots of them!) for their advice on solving a problem, consider – if you will – that you’re the common variable across all scenarios.

How to escape from resistance “quicksand”

When you are really, really dug into a position, use these five tips to help free yourself:

Identify if fear is holding you back.

Ask yourself: what am I afraid of?  Is it a lack of confidence in my ability to achieve the goal? Do I think somehow that I’m not worthy of that level of success? Have I been mocked  or criticized in the past for not succeeding?

Dissect your goal. 

Are you really certain that you have a goal? If you have a goal, is it the right one for you or is it an outcome that others have said you should achieve? Running in place (gathering up lots of options like what Mia did) is movement. Yet it isn’t forward movement.

Look at your schedule.

Saying “I don’t have the time to do….” is a common response to change we profess wanting to make yet aren’t. And of course your schedule is full of activities. However, if your professed goal is really important to you, you’ll make the time to make it happen.

Time is a created thing. To say, “I don’t have time’ is to say “I don’t want to.’ ~Lao Tzu

Focus on growth, not change.

Consider how your life will be richer – mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially – when you achieve your goal. Do you want to find yourself five years into the future still talking about getting your MBA, starting a new business or changing jobs, writing your first book and on and on?

Commit.

Saying “I’ll try to do….” is a first cousin to “I don’t have time.” If you’re serious about your dream, commit to a plan, a schedule, milestones, a partner to help you stay on track and make it so!

Commitment is the enemy of resistance, for it is the serious promise to press on, to get up, no matter how many times you are knocked down. ~David McNally

What else would you add to the list?

Image source:  Gratisography