by Jane Perdue | Leadership
It would be great, wouldn’t it, if chocolate was one of the four food groups?
That’s an idea I’ve suggested (just a wee bit tongue in cheek) for lots of years. Despite my extreme fondness for chocolate, though, I don’t indulge every day. Some days I want a different treat. Why? The joy of variety.
Over a caffe mocha (of course!), a friend and I were discussing the general state of world affairs, which led to talking about success, civility, inclusion, leadership, and respect. My friend and I both worked in corporate America for many years, sometimes at the same company at the same time.
None of our corporate employers were interested in the joy of variety; they were interested in only one flavor—numbers. Reports, meetings, discussions, performance evaluations, etc., centered around the bottom line.
We were ambitious, so we conformed and played along in valuing results more than relationships. Today, the memories—and shame—of my complicity haunt me.
If you love chocolate like I do, imagine how frustrating it would be to walk into ice cream parlor after ice cream parlor to find that vanilla was the only flavor sold. If you own an ice cream parlor and love vanilla, imagine how wearisome it would be to have to deal with those people “who can’t get with the program” and keep demanding chocolate.
Don’t these situations parallel what many people encounter when they go to work? The expectation to do things “one way” or else? The pressure to conform or else? The frustration? No wonder employee engagement is at an all-time low.
Having standardized business processes and procedures makes good business sense; otherwise, there’s confusion and chaos. But standardized everything, the one flavor approach from processes to thinking to doing leaves no room for joy of variety (the 31 flavors!) in thought, opinion, perspective, and experience that brings zest to life, love, and leadership.
Being ‘right’ is the easy part. Finding the ‘rightness’ within the opposite point of view is the challenge. ~Barry Johnson, author Polarity Management
One corporate boss was extreme in his preference for numbers and results. I struggled with his unyielding orientation.
As you might imagine, that boss and I had our challenges. While our approaches were different, we had the advantage of liking and respecting each other. Our spirited debates were sometimes epic.
Over time we realized our region was most successful when there was a focus on both results and relationships. Our path of learning to accept “multiple flavors” was a bumpy yet rewarding one filled with lessons, loud voices, and laughter as we learned about our blind spots and tested our tolerance for seeing beyond our own preferences.
5 leadership gifts that keep giving
While that boss and I learned many things, five items made a profound difference in how we approached one other, issues, and those around us.
We learned:
1) To be mindful about using the word should.
Thoughts about what should be introduce personal bias, which reduces open-mindedness, which in turn increases right versus wrong arguments, which leads to reduced opportunity and morale.
2) To replace the word or with “and.”
Either/or thinking zaps innovation and inclusion; both/and thinking boosts them. Using “and” expands comfort zones, too. That boss and I discovered that we usually preferred one side of “or” to the other. However, when we considered the big picture, it became easy to see that the words existing on either side of the word or were both equally important over time, like results and relationships.
3) To be curious.
Taking Walt Whitman’s advice to be curious, not judgmental, was a game changer. We learned more, reduced bias, and had fun seeing things we would have missed before.
4) To pay attention to our hot buttons.
When people or events set us off, we reflected instead of reacting, which made a positive difference in us as leaders and people.
5) To express gratitude and appreciation.
We discovered that letting go of being the all-knowing tough guy who’s got everything under control is liberating, that recognizing others is great fun, and that focusing on what we had instead of what we didn’t have lightened the mental and emotional load.
Instead of contradicting each other’s view, the task is to supplement each other’s view in order to see the whole picture. Each of them has key pieces to the puzzle. Paradoxically, opposition becomes resource. ~Barry Johnson, author Polarity Management
Five little big things made all the difference in us becoming “31 flavors” leaders and, more importantly, better people—a gift to ourselves and others that keeps giving.
Image credit before quote added: Pixabay
by Jane Perdue | Workplace tips
One question from clients that makes me happy is “We want to invest in our employees through leadership development. What should we keep in mind as we put the program together?”
3 characteristics
First, I tell them there are three characteristics that distinguish the best leadership development programs from the least effective ones—commitment, alignment, and accountability.
Commitment. Active, authentic support from all levels of the organization, especially senior management, creates meaningful and impactful programs. When leaders know that senior management endorses, supports, and believes in what they’re learning, the two-way loop of commitment is completed—senior management believes in me; I believe in the value of the development. Employees are quick to recognize window dressing training programs.
Alignment. The knowledge, skills, and abilities necessary to be hired, promoted, and execute organization vision, strategies, and goals must be what’s taught. Assure direct relevancy between course content and how leadership is practiced within your organization. If not, why are you wasting everyone’s time?
Accountability. Employees have to know that their boss is watching for a learning transfer from development session to practical on-the-job application. Research from McKinsey shows that employers with the most successful leadership development program are four times more likely to require development program participants to apply what they’ve learned on the job.
3 resources
Next, I tell them they have to be prepared to make three resources available to program attendees—time, role models, and accountability partners.
Time. Development programs take lots of forms: formal offsite sessions, classroom, workplace developmental assignments, coaching from inhouse or external experts, etc. Regardless of the method, allow attendees to be fully present. Don’t expect them to continue managing their jobs while taking in new skills.
Role models. Leadership skills are learnable, so connecting those in development programs with those who exemplify the best and brightest of your organization hones the attendee’s ability to think, understand, and do.
Accountability partners. In the best leadership development programs, the boss is always an accountability partner; and participants also partner up with someone who is going through the same program. Together, these people can reinforce learning, follow-up on learning transfer, and be a safe place to try on new skills.
3 attitudes
Lastly, I tell clients to adopt three attitudes toward both their leadership development programs as well as those participating in them—look for potential not only past performance, leave room for individuality and curiosity, and give permission for people to learn from their failure.
Look for potential. How an employee thinks, feels, and acts—are they flexible, self-directed, open to change, able to think critically and make a quality decision, interact well with others, and the like—says more about their leadership future than many quantitative metrics.
Leave room for individuality and curiosity. A team of cookie-cutter leaders isn’t going to be successful in today’s fast-paced, inter-connected business environment. Leave plenty of room for meaningful diversity of thought, opinion, perspective, and experience.
Make room for failure. Learning from failure is the absolute best teacher. Give your leadership development program participants space to bot try out what they learn and have a do-over if things didn’t go well the first time.
What would you add to this list?
Image credit before quote added: Pixabay
by Jane Perdue | Leadership
Toby is struggling to understand why his boss is now unhappy with job performance that once made him happy.
Toby’s employer experienced significant change in the last 18 months including new ownership, new management team, and all new systems. The new owners also want a different style of leadership, one that’s inclusive and flexible.
Toby has worked for the company for 15 years and describes himself as a “get it done” guy. To Toby, his yearend performance review was a disaster. His boss told him future promotions were unlikely because he is too competitive, too logical, too critical, and too focused on results and tradition.
His takeaway from his boss’s feedback? To start looking for a job.
Toby reached out to Aaron, a former colleague, and asked for advice. He was surprised by the advice Aaron gave him. Aaron told him to quit looking for a job and get busy living up to the possibility in what his boss had told him. Say what?
Aaron pointed out that Toby’s boss had used the word too in describing Toby’s performance. The boss hadn’t said that being logical or results-oriented, etc. wasn’t wrong, just that Toby was too logical, too results-oriented, etc. The boss hadn’t said those weren’t the right things to be. He said Toby was just too much of them.
Toby had over-used his strengths and turned them into weaknesses. To get back on track, all he needed to do was take a more balanced approach to leading himself and his team.
5 things for Toby to do to keep his strength a strength
When we’re good at something, it’s easy to overuse a skill. Almost any skill that’s overused become a weakness. Toby can “dial back” his preferences to be the inclusive and flexible leader his employer needs him to be. Toby can:
- Compete externally and collaborate internally.
Toby likes to win. In his zeal to be first or best, he forgets that his colleagues and employees are on the same team and often treats them like adversaries. Toby can channel his competitiveness by learning to work with, not against, his co-workers and team so together they all can compete externally.
- Use curiosity to temper his tendency to be overly critical and judgmental.
In these days when it seems more acceptable to loudly proclaim I’m right and you’re wrong, curiosity has fallen into disuse. Sameness is comfortable and quick, which causes leaders to miss the power and magic in differences of thought, opinion, perspective, and experience.
As many managers do, Toby relies heavily on his experience to quickly make decisions and formulate strategies. He can use a travel trip to learn to be a better leader. Experienced travelers know that there are usually many routes leading to a destination. Someone who opts to take a back roads route still reaches their destination.
To be less critical, Toby can seek to understand by asking questions before acting and judging. Curiosity is a handy tool for expanding comfort zones, controlling bias, and building collaboration (something that can help him with his too competitive thing—people’s input can be melded with what he knows to fashion win/win outcomes).
- Seek to improve both economics and engagement.
Toby is a numbers guy. Nothing wrong with that. Where Toby goes wrong, though, in pushing for results is in forgetting that it’s people who make the results happen. Without strong connections that make people feel valued and recognized, workplaces have unhappy employees and lackluster performance. However, when bosses choose to build authentic, caring connections and value both money and meaning, both results and relationships, employees are engaged, performance is strong, and everyone wins.
- Maintain the best of the old while embracing innovation.
Aware of Toby’s strong preference for what has always been, his boss encouraged him to envision a tree when he’s faced with something new that triggers his skepticism and resistance. A tree has roots, his boss said, to give it stability and help it stand strong. But the tree grows and takes in the sun because of its new branches and leaves. A tree that fails to grow new branches will be stunted and may become root-bound and die. New growth rooted in tradition, the boss said, is what makes all of us grow and be better. Toby can choose to learn how to take in the new while holding on to traditions and values.
- Lead with both a logical mind and an emotional heart.
A line that Toby frequently uses with his team and others is “just give me the facts.” Facts, data, and logic are good, however, they’re not always enough to persuade people to act. That takes emotion. Aaron suggested he lead with his heart and manage with his head, so he can better connect with those around him. Toby can learn to make kindness, compassion, and respect part of his routine leadership practices just as he does with logic, competition, and focusing on the bottom line.
The seat of knowledge is in the head, of wisdom, in the heart. ~William Hazlitt, philosopher and essayist
Over-reliance on a strength isn’t uncommon. Who doesn’t want to showcase what they do well? The tricky part of being an effective leader is getting past the blind spot created when a strength has turned into a weakness. Toby is fortunate to have people in his corner who are willing to coach him in finding a “Goldilocks’ just right” balance.
To receive a better performance review next time (and maybe a promotion), Toby doesn’t have to learn a new skill—all he needs to do is refine and recalibrate the skills he already has.
Image credit before quote: Pixabay
by Jane Perdue | Character, Leadership
Kinda funny, isn’t it, how we lose sight of things that we shouldn’t?
A few years ago, those of us at BIG did lots of speaking and training on the 7 C’s of leadership, which we defined as character, connection, cognition, capability, compassion, courage, and commitment.
Then life intervened as it so often does. The BIG team moved on to other topics our clients wanted and eventually to working at other places. After my heart nearly pooped out on me, I rethought what I wanted to do with the second act of my life and started The Jane Group.
In thinking about what I want to do in 2019, much of what I plan to speak, write, coach, and teach about is rooted in something from the 7 C’s.
I want to assist people and organizations to welcome differences, reduce bias, shake up the status quo, be inclusive, be kind, be respectful, manage with our head and lead with our heart, and use power the right way.
All those messages boil down to us leading ourselves so we can lead others inclusively and kindly, and that’s where the 7 C’s come in.
Fascinating how things come full circle, isn’t it?
The 7 C’s of being a leader
With lots of the new year still in front of us, now’s a great time to revisit the 7 C approach. The list is succinct enough to be remembered yet goes deep in both hard and soft skills.
Character
- An inclusive leader with character walks the talk for both being good and doing well.
- He has a moral center, knows right from wrong, and doesn’t have any hidden agendas.
- She is a consistent and credible role model for integrity, ethical behavior, authenticity, honesty, and transparency.
- He knows what values are important to him, practices them daily, and assures there’s congruence between his values and actions.
- She practices tolerance, embraces differences, is inclusive without being judgment, and invites the elephant in the room to dance.
- He is determined yet self-disciplined.
- She treats those with and those without power the same.
- He can be trusted.
Connection
An inclusive leader who practices connection makes the time to meaningfully connect with others. She collaborates and values community. He actively listens to what others have to say because understanding their point of view is important to him.
She communicates clearly, assures alignment between her verbal and nonverbal messages; engages in clear and concise two-way exchanges, not one-way monologues; and says just enough to accurately convey her meaning. He knows when to recognize, criticize, celebrate, have fun, and says thank you to someone every day.
Cognition
- An inclusive leader who has cognition is self-aware and actively uses their self-knowledge to relate to others.
- He knows his strengths and puts them to good use both for himself and in service to others.
- She knows her weaknesses and works to minimize any negative impact they may have.
- He seeks feedback, asks clarifying questions, and reflects on what he hears.
- She practices simplicity yet knows when to take the deep dive.
- He sets boundaries, appreciates what’s mandatory and what’s discretionary, and finds the balance between tradition and innovation.
- She’s curious, open-minded, and eager to expand her comfort zone.
- He thinks critically, seeks to learn, and is unafraid to challenge the status quo or seek the common-sense solution.
Capability
An inclusive leader with capability stretches the limits of their potential and inspires those around them to do the same. She encourages creativity, is adept at change, and maintains balance between stability and innovation. He coaches for competence and knows when to go fast and when to go slow. She is skilled at the fundamentals of conducting business—planning, organizing, directing, and controlling.
He knows when to control and when to empower. She focuses equally on people, principles and profits and never sacrifices one for the other. He holds himself and those around him responsible and accountable.
Compassion
- An inclusive leader who has compassion is unafraid to smile, laugh, care and is fearless in showing love, joy, kindness, and respect.
- He is there for others, knowing when to speak with candor and when to be diplomatic.
- She seeks out and celebrates both similarities and differences.
- He displays empathy without sacrificing accountability and ownership.
- She knows when to enforce the rules and when to bend them.
Courage
An inclusive leader who has courage takes a stand for what’s good and what’s right, even if doing so is unpopular. She shows grace under pressure. He acknowledges his fears without letting them rule his life. She believes in herself and shows strength of mind and will. He embraces possibility with childlike wonder.
She is confident that she brings value and helps others believe the same about themselves. He dares to be sincere, caring, and authentic.
Commitment
- An inclusive leader who has commitment has conviction, sees things through, holds themselves accountable, and assists others in doing the same.
- She pursues mutual understanding and respect even in the presence of opposing opinions.
- He assures the work gets done and that relationships are maintained.
- She lives up to her potential and strives to make a positive and sustained difference.
So, when people ask me about a “secret sauce” for inclusion, civility, and leadership success, I ask, “How are your 7 C’s?”
Image credit before quote added: Pixabay
by Jane Perdue | Be your best you, Bias, Inspiration
A colleague and I were at a publishing conference. We were attending a session on how to be a more effective writer.
“Schedule time every week for serendipity,” advised one of the session panelists. “If you schedule time for serendipity, you’ll make it happen. If you don’t, it won’t; and your skills won’t improve.”
“Did she say to schedule serendipity?” I whispered to my colleague.
“Sure did.”
How ridiculous, I thought even though I’ve been the beneficiary of accidently tripping into discoveries. Despite my past good fortune, the speaker’s counsel troubled me. From my perspective, there was absolutely no way to schedule a fortunate accidental discovery—serendipity just happened. Right?
Curious about maybe having missed a nuance in the definition of serendipity, I did some research. I hadn’t missed anything.
Author Horace Walpole invented the word serendipity in 1754. A Persian fairy tale, The Princes of Serendip, had been his inspiration. In the fairy tale, three princes “were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things which they were not in quest of.”
That confirmed my belief the speaker had it all wrong. Sadly, I mocked her advice on several occasions.
Shame on me.
And for that, I got my comeuppance.
I was doing online research about dogmatism for my book. I’d just read the definition of dogmatism, a viewpoint or system of ideas based on insufficiently examined premises, when the aha zap happened.
My reaction to the speaker’s words about scheduling serendipity leapt into mind.
Ewww. It hurt to see it and to say it, but I’d been dogmatic. I’d been that person; the narrow-minded one I criticize when I see people acting the same way I had.
I’d blindly accepted as fact that my belief that it was impossible to schedule serendipity without examining her meaning. I had heard her words, interpreted them with my dogmatic filters, and outright rejected her position.
Shame on me again. Her advice wasn’t wrong, it was flat out brilliant.
In a time-starved world where there’s a plan and time slot for everything, it’s pure genius to leave time open for spontaneity. Time to think, daydream, be. Time for accidental discoveries to happen.
Of course, you can’t will the eureka moment to happen in those moments. However, making time to reflect increases the odds of creativity, inspiration, and innovation happening.
That’s what the speaker had meant. She was telling us to avoid the tunnel vision that comes from having an over-packed schedule and too much to do. She was telling us to make room for unpredictability and possibility.
*big sigh* How could I have been so dogmatic, so obtuse, so blind?
Psychologist Daniel Kahneman has an answer for us.
He says it’s incredibly difficult for us to see our own biases. We can easily point to them in other people, but not so much for ourselves.
Fortunately for me, a research aha moment rescued me from my blindness.
I both love and abhor my personal teachable moments. Love them because new paths are revealed, abhor them because I need them in the first place.
Perhaps I’d better start scheduling time for teachable moments in my calendar.
Image credit before quote added: Pixabay
