by Jane Perdue | Be your best you
Three telling comments about putting things off that the department head said within thirty minutes:
“When our new regional director starts next month, then I’ll start re-organizing my department.”
“When the new online performance review system is up and running, then I’ll be more consistent in giving my direct reports feedback about how they’re doing.”
“When I finish my leadership e-learning program, then I can devote more time to creating a vision for where my department is going.”
Why wait?
Why not do those things NOW???
5 reasons you may be putting things off
“Whenthen-itis,” e.g. putting things off, has many contributing factors. A few key ones that can trip you up:
1) Fear.
Doing something new can be scary. With the job market still uncertain, no one wants to put their career at risk should the outcomes fail or be less than stellar. Yet, taking a risk is instrumental for success and innovation. Sometimes you just have to go for it.
“This the world of white water where we have to change to survive; where we have to develop to thrive; and, paradoxically, where the very act of change increases the risk that we won’t survive.” ~Randall White, Phillip Hodgson and Stuart Crainer. The Future of Leadership: A White Water Revolution
2) Lack of self-confidence.
Ask yourself if you link taking action to some future event because you feel like you don’t have the ability to pull the action off. The only way to boost your self-efficacy (that inner belief that you can do it) is by having the quiet courage to do it.
3) Disbelief.
Sometimes it is really hard to drink the corporate kool-aid. Yet masquerading your lack of support behind a “when-something-else-happens-I-will-do-it” wall usually catches up with you…in a negative way. You start to sound (and feel) bitter or get a reputation for hollow talk without action. Neither of these outcomes are good for your career or for you.
4) Procrastination.
If you’re one of those managers who has the best of intentions coupled with the worst of time management skills, whenthen-itis can become a chronic condition. If you find yourself with the same intentions year after year, work with your boss, a coach, a trusted colleague or someone to assess if your issue is prioritization, delegation and/or time management skills. Then fix it!
Putting off an easy thing makes it hard. Putting off a hard thing makes it impossible. ~George Claude Lorimer
5) Uncertainty.
Perhaps you use the when/then statements as a trial balloon to test your ideas, hoping that someone will jump on your comment and provide feedback. If that’s the case, reach out to someone whose opinion you trust and ask for their input. That takes you out of that bad for your reputation category of leader-who-talks-but-doesn’t-come-through.
What other causes of “whenthen-itis” do you have to add to the list?
Image source: Gratisography
by Jane Perdue | Creativity
I’d just finished delivering a workshop on mapping out your life purpose when a session participant approached me and asked for a word of advice.
“I have worked in sales for ten years, and it’s time for a change. I’m tired and burned out. What should I do?” She asked.
“Do you know what kind of change you want?”
“I want to open a little shop that sells deliciously rich, moist cupcakes and great coffee. The kind of place where I like to stop when I’m on my sales route when I need to escape the rat race. Everyone tells me I’ve lost my mind. What do you think?”
“Your vision sounds delightful! Do you have a business plan?” Given my passion for chocolate, I could almost taste one of her cupcakes listening to her and seeing her big smile.
“Yes. I have an investor, too, and a line of credit at the bank and a location all picked out.”
“Do you feel like what you’re about to do is a risk?”
“Absolutely, but not a crazy one. I’m going in with my eyes wide open.”
“Are you prepared financially should it take a while to get established?”
“I am. I’ve done well in sales and have socked away a nice little nest egg that’ll tide me over. I won’t live in the grand style I used to but it’s just me so I won’t be going hungry.”
“Are you passionate about this cupcake shop?”
“I’m excited, a little scared, but this is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.”
“Then, all you have to say to your friends is ‘please love me, support me and help me make my dream come true.’”
“You’re right! I’m going to do that and get started! Hope to see you at the opening!”
Is there someone following their dream to whom you can extend your love, help, and support?
Image source: Gratisography
by Jane Perdue | Leadership
If you put your mind and heart to it, there’s nothing you can’t do.
Negotiating is as much an attitude and behavior exercise as it is an intellectual one. Be prepared on all fronts.
Don’t lose precious time wishing for things; make it happen!
Never let anyone make you feel bad for being a smart woman.
If there’s a will, there’s a way. You just gotta figure it out.
All those great lines were shared with me by my mentors, generous people who took an interest in me personally and in my career and who pushed, pulled, challenged, inspired and molded me into who and what I am today.
To all of you – I say THANK. YOU. from the bottom of my heart. You’ve enriched my life immensely.
To those of you who are mentors: kudos for giving of yourself and your time to mold the leaders of tomorrow. Please keep sharing what you know, think and believe with those in your company or community. For some, your time and attention may be the only leadership guidance they receive.
To those of you who want to be a mentor: make it so! If there’s someone of promise in your company or community or organization, reach out and offer to be their mentor. It could be the best thing you’ve done…for both of you!
To those of you who want to be mentored: join a program within your industry, organization or community if one’s available; if not, be proactive and ask someone you admire if they’re willing to mentor you. Who knows, they just might yes – and think what an adventure it will be!
I delight in sharing my mentoring time with the amazing young professionals in the formal community-wide program offered here in Charleston. The two-way learning and exchange helps me grow.
January is National Mentoring Month.
Get one or be one!
Image source: Gratisography
by Jane Perdue | Leadership
“The act of compassion begins with full attention, just as rapport does. You have to really see the person. If you see the person, then naturally, empathy arises. If you tune into the other person, you feel with them. If empathy arises, and if that person is in dire need, then empathic concern can come. You want to help them, and then that begins a compassionate act. So I’d say that compassion begins with attention.” ~Daniel Goleman
The Situation
“I don’t know what to do with Tammy. Every time I try to talk to her about her job performance, she cries.”
“What do you do when she cries?”
“It makes me feel bad so I try to comfort her.”
“Tell me how you do that.”
“I find myself saying ‘now, now, calm down. It’s not that bad. It’ll be OK.’”
“Does that stop the crying?”
“It usually takes a little while, but it works.”
“After she stops crying, what happens next?”
“By then we’ve usually used up the allotted time so she goes back to work.”
“So when do you discuss what performance improvements she must make?”
“Well, now that you mention it, we’ve never really gotten that far.”
Performance management lessons from Goldilocks
Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation where your sympathy pulled you right into the matter almost as if you were an active participant instead of the boss?
If so, there are some nuggets from none other than Goldilocks that can help you get the right balance between compassion and empathy. Effectively handling these situations requires that you not be too hard or too soft, but just right!
- Too hard.
- Coming across as cold-hearted, aloof or unfeeling to an employee’s plight lands you squarely in the bad boss corner. Dismissing, making light of, mocking and/or ignoring an employee’s emotional reaction sends the message – whether intended or not – that you don’t care. Taking an uncaring approach doesn’t solve the problem – it creates a whole new set of issues.
- Too soft.
- When you start feeling their pain and allow their emotions to become your emotions, you’re in trouble. You end up like the manager in the above story who never deals with the situation. And, while it’s always good to ascribe good intentions, you have to hope that you aren’t being manipulated. When you fail to assert the correct leadership response, you aren’t helping the employee, your organization or yourself.
- Just right.
- For those employees who get emotional when you want to talk about their performance, it’s appropriate to feel empathic to their situation. Understanding and acknowledging their feelings demonstrates that you have heart and do care. Offer a tissue. Allow adequate time for them to express their emotions, then gently and tactfully steer the conversation back to the issue(s) that prompted the meeting. By dealing with the situation in a compassionate yet composed and straightforward manner, you serve the best interests of the employee and your organization.
As reported by the Behavioral Coaching Institute, “Research shows that by acquiring emotional management skills and techniques, managers and leaders can more readily create positive and productive results in every aspect of their lives.”
So take Goldilocks’ lead and get it just right!
What other advice would you offer?
Image source: morgueFile.com
by Jane Perdue | Leadership
We were working with a six-person senior management team known for two things:
1) being stuck in time, and
2) not communicating amongst themselves or with the rest of the organization.
After shadowing the team, it became evident that these six people were what we call “monotone thinkers.”
Monotone, or one-note, thinkers get stuck in an ongoing pattern of a singular reasoning style that shapes their reactions and actions, and limits their innovation.
One-note thinking
Have you met these people who have a one-note thinking style?
• Death-by-Delay Donnie
This style never wants to be first and is very also risk-averse. A typical response is “Let’s just give it another month or two. By then, we’ll know how such-and-such has turned out, and how so-and-so is thinking. Then, we’ll be able to decide what’s best to do.”
• Fear Factor Frannie
A typical first reaction is avoidance and looking backward. You might hear a Fear Factor Frannie say, “Don’t you remember the last time we tried to change that? It was a disaster, and we sure don’t want a repeat of that scenario, do we?”
• Big But Ben
These are the glass half-empty folks, perpetually looking and thinking on the dark side and/or taking the contrarian view. “Sure, I’ve heard that 500 million people use Facebook, but we can’t be certain how long that fad will last.” Or, “Of course everyone likes Sam, but I’m not sure he’s really right for our organization.”
• Positive Polly
These individuals wear their rose-colored glasses all the time, refusing to acknowledge or accept that there’s any thing wrong with anyone or anything. “You folks are being much too hard on Billy. Yes, I know he got that DUI in a company vehicle and then fibbed about it happening. But no one was seriously hurt in the accident, so what’s the ruckus?”
• Like Me Larry
Being liked – not being correct or candid or respected – is at the top of the priority list for Like Me Larry’s who agree with whoever is speaking at the moment. “Polly, I couldn’t agree with you more.” Followed by, “Of course, Donnie, I agree with you when you rephrase what Polly said that way.”
• Balance Sheet Bob
Everything is all about the bottom line to those caught in this line of thinking. “It doesn’t matter, Frannie, that the telephone system is out-dated. Customers can call back. There’s no money in this year’s budget to buy a new system.”
In a sense, words are encyclopedias of ignorance because they freeze perceptions at one moment in history and then insist we continue to use these frozen perceptions when we should be doing better. ~Edward de Bono, Six Thinking Hats
All of these points of view are important elements in thoughtfully analyzing a situation or devising a strategy. Where it becomes problematic is when these styles of thinking become walls that shut out any other considerations.
What other types of one-note thinking have you experienced?
Image source: morgueFile.com
