I’ve written several posts over the last few years about change.
Based on the enormity of the task we face as leaders, I probably have not written enough on this important topic.
I love the idea of a lever as it relates to change.
As you may remember from physics, a lever creates mechanical advantage. Translated, a lever allows you to move or lift a significantly greater load than you could without it. (more…)
Why isn’t your international business thriving?
Why are you still running into problems with your international counterparts telling you “yes” one day and then not following through the next?
After working with clients in South East Asia since the 1990’s, living in Malaysia with my family for almost a year, conducting research, and coaching senior leaders in some of the area’s largest organizations, I’ve gained insight into the conundrum facing so many international teams: problems with cross-cultural communication.
I’ve explored both the communication psyche of senior level executives and the perspectives of multiple organizational levels of employees.
Doing so, I’ve discovered the root causes of many of these problems as well as a simple solution.
The Problem
Many issues with cross-cultural communications arise from breakdowns in verbal and body language. Consider:
“Where is the work?” asks the manager.
“It’s on my desk,” replies the subordinate.
“Is it done?” queries the manager.
“Yes,” replies the subordinate.
“Can I have it?” asks the manager.
“Yes,” replies the subordinate.
“So where is it?”
“On my desk.”
“So why is it on your desk?”
“Because I’m still working on it,” replies the subordinate.
“But you said it was done!” exclaims the manager.
“Yes.” Replies the subordinate. At which point the manager became frustrated, associating the “yes” replies and the absence of work deception or incompetence. The reality here was the subordinate was fearful of having to share bad news with a source of authority.
How can the German manager foster an environment where the Asian subordinate is comfortable enough to transcend her upbringing about disappointing authority and being honest?
The Fix
There’s a three-part fix for cross-cultural communication problems:
1. Paraphrase. Repeat what others say in your own words to confirm your understanding.
2. Define terms. When it’s your turn to speak, invest time in creating common definitions of terms; and it’s okay to stop the flow of the meeting to do so. Taking time upfront to define terms and meaning saves time and energy later on. Be patient, and plan for extra time for this.
3. Never assume. Don’t take it for granted that everyone uses terms in the same way. Tone of voice may suggest understanding, but that isn’t proof that both of you are on the same page. Always double-check.
It’s true that communication problems can crop up in non-multicultural environments as well. Yet in multicultural environments, the chance of communication problems is significantly worse. However, if you are prepared, you can avoid costly communication breakdowns and strengthen productivity by using these three simple steps.
Pay attention to the fix, and you’ll thrive. Don’t use them, and you’re wasting valuable time.
Today’s guest post is from Ethan F. Becker, co-author of Mastering Communication at Work (McGraw-Hill) and President of The Speech Improvement Company.
Image source before quote: morgueFile.com
Jorge hung up the phone and sat at his desk for a long time, staring out the window, seeing everything yet seeing nothing.
As he sat there, he replayed, over and over again, the conversation he’d just had with his business partner.
The call had been unexpectedly contentious.
His business partner accused him of three serious acts of wrong-doing.
Those three acts were topics the two of them had never discussed.
Jorge was shocked to learn his business partner wanted to be copied on every email he sent to prospective clients, viewed his participation in a local networking group as an under-handed way to get to know more people in the community, and saw Jorge’s popular blog as a way for Jorge to hog the limelight and shut him out.
Their photography business didn’t last to see its one-year anniversary.
Too many times I’ve seen unmet expectations derail projects, careers, and relationships.
Too many times, those expectations were unmet because they weren’t communicated. The other person was just expected you to know what they expected.
Ever found yourself in a situation where you were caught off guard by something someone assumed that you would know?
That discomfort or animosity can be avoided if we make the time and effort to set a few simple ground rules at the beginning of a project, assignment or work partnership.
1) Determine who will do what.
When we define roles and responsibilities early on, everyone knows their role. When new duties arise, make it a point to assign ownership for completion.
2) Establish how you’ll communicate.
The method for communicating, be it through email, text messages, in-person meetings, phone calls, etc., matters less than understanding each other’s preferences and taking them into account as much as possible. When generational differences are a factor, this step is crucial.
3) Connect to check in.
Touch base periodically to assess if things are on track or not. If adjustments are needed, identify who will make them. Flag potential problems and/or issues early – no one likes to be surprised.
4) Be curious.
Explore styles, interests, likes, dislikes, goals, etc. before starting the partnership. If differences do exist (and they will), assess whether ot not they can be tolerated. Know if those involved are interested in working through problems or if playing the blame game is the default position.
5) Define what success will look like.
Be specific in detailing what outcomes are expected and how you’ll work together to achieve them. Figure out if the end game between those involved is competition or collaboration. Egos can be insurmountable barriers to work completion, so it’s best to know this ahead of time.
Unhappiness lies in that gap between our talents and our expectations. ~Sebastian Horsley, artist
We all have expectations of ourselves and others. To avoid disappointment, anger, frustration, and a whole host of other ugly outcomes, share those expectations early and often.
What other advice do you have for Jorge?
Image source before quote: morgueFile.com
My bad for getting behind in responding to my Twitter follow back messages, yet what an enlightening experience that turned out to be.
A number of people who had followed me on Twitter had unfollowed me—and a gazillion others—by the time I reached their Twitter home page to follow them.
Their follower and following ratios were quite lopsided. They were following a small handful of people (normally in the two-digit range), yet had numbers in the hundreds or thousands or tens of thousands of people who were following them.
Hmmm, how interesting.
While I wonder whether or not they care enough to be interested, here’s the story their actions tell me.
I know I’m climbing the ladder of inference here, drawing conclusions that are based on my perception of reality. If you’re one of those folks I’m talking about here, do enlighten me! I’d love to know the reasons behind all the work you do to build a following and then drop them.
LeadBIG tip: be mindful of the stories your actions create in the minds and hearts of those around you. And, if you’ve created a story as I have, be mindful it’s your story: you wrote it based on your perception and view of point which might be correct…or dead wrong.
What’s your story?
Image source: morgueFile
Rose “fell” into her PR career right after college, taking a temporary job to tide her over. That job lasted ten years.
While Rose had enjoyed her job, she always felt like something better was out there, that she was missing something. But until her layoff, she never hit the “pause button of life” long enough to evaluate the direction of her professional or personal life.
Most successful businesses have a mission statement describing their purpose along with a business plan defining what they do.
What works well for businesses also works well for individuals, especially if you’re in a career transition like Rose or are simply seeking a new direction.
Creating your personal life plan helps you focus on where you are, where you want to be and how you’ll get there. It’s a bit like having your very own personal GPS for the personal and professional direction you’ll take.
“Writing or reviewing a mission statement changes you because it forces you to think through your priorities deeply, carefully, and to align your behavior with your beliefs.” ~Stephen Covey, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
The process of figuring out what you want to do purposefully with your life and mapping out accompanying goals is simple yet complex.
The steps involved are straightforward.
The complexity arises from first deciding to be purposeful rather than random; and then doing all the heavy lifting of identifying your interests and goals, letting go of things getting in the way and finally finding a complementary career, volunteer work, and hobbies, etc., to keep your actions in alignment with your purpose.
Sometimes you have to “let go” to let other things “come in.”
1) Define what you do well, like to do and makes you feel purposeful.
Richard Leider, author of The Power of Purpose, believes that “the purpose of life is to live a life of purpose.”
2) Identify what you want to accomplish, both personally and professionally, and write it down.
There’s nothing like putting pen to paper or fingers to the keyboard to create clarity. Think of this as your personal mission statement. Here’s an example from Google that illustrates mission statement content: “To organize the world’s information and make it universally accessible and useful.” A company without a mission statement has little clarity on what it will do; the same is true for individuals.
3) List what you need to start doing, stop doing and continue doing.
This real benefit-producing step of the process requires honest and thorough self-assessment. Rush University Medical Center, a teaching and research hospital in Chicago, released a study on aging and activity in 2009. According to Patricia Boyle, neuropsychologist and assistant professor of behavioral sciences at Rush, “If you find purpose in life, if you find your life is meaningful, and if you have goal-directed behavior, you are likely to live longer.”
4) Define your goals and make an action plan.
It’s only when we combine our dreams with action that we realize successful outcomes. Thinking, hoping and visualizing are helpful exercises to shape your focus yet are insufficient on their own to produce results. Gotta make things happen!
5) Commit to action, learning, failing and trying again.
Hold yourself accountable to taking small steps every single day, whether you want to or not. (The siren song of procrastination plays loudly some days). Expect to take a misstep or two, that’s all part of it. Give yourself permission to fail; learn from those failures and move on. Celebrate your successes: throw a party, dance on the beach, eat chocolate, watch a sunset, send yourself a gift.
Having a plan creates direction.
Direction produces focus.
Focus leads to productivity.
Productivity makes results.
Results create confidence and success.
Sweet!
What other steps should be on this list?
Image source: morgueFile
In my more impetus youth, I hated it when someone answered my question with “it depends.” I interpreted that response as either he didn’t know or she couldn’t make a decision.
These days, I chuckle when I find myself replying “it depends.”
I’ve learned (the hard way!) the importance of considering variables and the value in sometimes responding with “it depends.”
If the questioner hasn’t walked away in silent or not-so-silent disgust upon receipt of that answer, I’ll ask “How about exploring with me why I gave you that answer?” and we’ll end up in a rich, teachable moment discussion, in which thinking moves from arbitrary black-and-white to shades of gray.
If you’re on the receiving end of an “it depends” answer:
1. Channel your impatience or disdain into inquiry.
As Covey reminds us, seek first to understand. Ask clarifying questions to understand why you received that response. Own delving in to determine the reasons behind the answer. Sometimes “it depends” does come from a vapid place; more frequently, though, it comes from a place full of new thoughts.
2. Be open to exploring alternatives and contingencies.
Possibilities that may have never occurred to you can be top of mind for someone else…and could be a critical, overlooked factor which positively impacts your decision-making.
3. Challenge yourself to understand why you want a black and white or speedy answer.
Are you seeking a quick fix? Are you reluctant to take a deeper look? And if so, why? Are you succumbing to quantity over quality?
If you’re on the giving end of an “it depends” response:
1. Own up to not knowing the answer. There’s no shame in not knowing. There’s lots of shame in covering up, denying or fibbing.
2. Share your insights about your ambiguous answer. People process information in very individual ways, so providing an explanation of how you reached your conclusions helps round out other’s thinking.
3. Engage the questioner in dialogue. Exchange thoughts to expand one another’s point of view, and see where both of you in growing your comfort and understanding zones.
“It is better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a question without debating it.” ~Joseph Joubert
What “it depends” learnings do you have to share?
Image source before quote: morgueFile.com
