by Jane Perdue | Leadership
Everyone agreed George was a tough boss.
He was demanding, settling for nothing less than one’s best. He was goal-oriented, charismatic and driven. He pushed when outcomes weren’t up to par; he beamed when they were. He challenged when he knew people were capable of more. He offered up praise, appreciation and thanks. He had his team’s back.
George “got” tough empathy.
He combined empathy with accountability and that is a skill set no leader should be without.
In their Harvard Business Review article, Why Should Anyone Be Led By You? Robert Goffee and Gareth Jones define tough empathy as “giving people not necessarily what they want, but what they need to achieve their best.”
Being both tough and tender, having both high standards and high touch, is the ultimate leadership balance beam act between task completion and relationship.
We’ve seen bosses who bark orders without regard to feelings and who leave positive morale as roadkill in the office. On the other hand, we’ve seen bosses who are so tender-hearted we wonder if they have a spine as no one is ever corrected or disciplined for egregious offenses or receives any feedback, either good or bad.
5 ways for leaders to use tough empathy
1) Intervene early and constructively.
When performance goes awry, leaders with tough empathy sit down and talk with the employee (this is not the time for an email). Let the employee know you have faith in their abilities and affirm the importance of their contributions to the organization.
2) Show some love.
Celebrate, recognize, appreciate. The file cabinet in the corner doesn’t have feelings, but employees do.
3) Don’t sugarcoat a one-way message.
Provide solid facts, specifics, and examples. If you offer up an impression, define the details that created it. This is the time for dialogue, not a monologue.
4) Demand more than an “I’ll try” response.
Assure the individual commits whole-heartedly to learning, performing and improving. Employees are responsible for their performance; the leader owns holding them consistently accountable.
5) Communicate that occasionally failing is OK.
Expecting off-the-chart success all the time leads to burnout and snuffs out innovation. Research by professor Amy Edmondson reveals “people in organizations feel psychologically safe when those in power persistently praise, reward, and promote people who have the courage to talk about their doubts, successes, and failures, and who work doggedly to do things better the next time.”
Ready to be one of those inspiring leaders who “gets” tough empathy?
Image credit: morgueFile
by Amy Diederich | Leadership
When giving feedback, don’t be this guy!
When starting your own big thing, you’ll encounter times when giving feedback is necessary.
When doing so, keep in mind what Jack R. Gibb calls supportive behaviors. Using this supportive approach allows you to create a safe climate so defensive responses are reduced.
Professor Gibb has this to say about defensive behaviors:
“Defensive behavior is defined as that behavior which occurs when an individual perceives threat or anticipates threat in the group.
The person who behaves defensively, even though he also gives some attention to the common task, devotes an appreciable portion of his energy to defending himself. Besides talking about the topic, he thinks about how he appears to others, how he may be seen more favorably, how he may win, dominate, impress, or escape punishment, and/or how he may avoid or mitigate a perceived or an anticipated attack.
Such inner feelings and outward acts tend to create similarly defensive postures in others; and, if unchecked, the ensuing circular response becomes increasingly destructive.
Defensive behavior, in short, endangers defensive listening, and this in turn produces postural, facial, and verbal cues which raise the defense level of the original communicator.”
6 things to do to build a good environment for giving feedback
1) Give a good description.
Focus on describing very specific behavior so the person can repeat the behavior if it’s positive or isolate it if it’s negative. Be non-judgmental.
2) Have a problem, not person, orientation.
Focus on the task not on the person! Most importantly, focus on behaviors they can change versus labeling them “good” or “bad.”
3) Be spontaneous; do it now.
Give feedback immediately when you see the behavior, and make it relevant. Assure you don’t have any hidden agendas.
4) Have empathy.
Make sure you show your concern for others. Take the perspective of the person to whom you’re giving the feedback.
5) Practice equality.
Own your comments, yet be willing to participate with the other person to define the problem. Come from a place of equality by de-emphasizing differences in power and/or ability.
6) Use provisionalism.
Be tentative and flexible. Demonstrate your willingness to consider alternate points of view and courses of action. Use phrases like: “We could…One way we might do that is…or I think this is what is happening.” Remember things are not always what they seem.
Feedback bottom line: Give positive feedback when you can and always give it because it truly is a gift.
What methods have worked for you in providing meaningful feedback without the person becoming defensive?
Image credit: Gratisography
by Jane Perdue | Leadership
Leaders are immersed in metrics, perpetually measuring and quantifying business performance in pursuit of the next improvement, double-digit growth or to beat the market.
Too bad there isn’t a similar quest for connections.
Connecting is good for individuals and for business. The research is a little dated, yet back in the late nineties Sears discovered that a 5% increase in employee satisfaction produced a 1.3% positive bump in customer satisfaction which, in turn, yielded a 0.5% increase in revenue growth. How? Leaders transcending “it’s all about me and/or the bottom line” by building connections and relationships.
People do the work, so connecting with them should be high on a leader’s priority list, right alongside strategizing, budgeting and planning the next acquisition. In Touchpoints: Creating Powerful Leadership Connections in the Smallest of Moments, Doug Conant and Mette Norgaard write,
“Each of the many interactions you have during your day is an opportunity to establish high performance expectations, to infuse with greater clarity and more energy, and to influence the course of events.”
5 ways for leaders to reframe, connect and grow
Try one (or more) of these five ways to build and foster meaningful associations (not just clicking a “like” icon!) with your work team, employees, colleagues, others within your company, and with the wider world:
1) Own up to your mistakes.
Stories abound in the press about leaders, politicians, etc. who cover up their lies and seem surprised when their credibility is lost. It takes real personal leadership to make yourself vulnerable and disclose your blunders. To be vulnerable is to be strong.
2) Be generous with your time.
Don’t get caught in the trap of thinking you’re too busy to meet people for coffee, chat for a few minutes after a meeting or take in the occasional networking event. People want affiliation, so be the one who gives it to them.
3) Shift your perspective.
Tony Schwartz, President of the Energy Project, calls this viewing the world through “a reverse lens.” Sure we want to get the sales report to the boss as soon as we can, yet when a colleague drops in unexpectedly, reframe the situation as an opportunity to engage and/or influence rather than as an interruption.
4) Practice reciprocity.
If you want people to play in your sandbox, you have to play in theirs from time to time.
5) Share, don’t hoard.
Communicate what’s happening—tell what you can. Start a discussion. Connect like-minded people and even contrarians. Recommend articles, websites, books, etc. Being viewed as a subject matter expert and/or the “go-to” person for ideas boosts both personal and professional connections.
With whom will you connect today?
Image source before quote: morgueFile.com
by Jackie Danielsson | Leadership
As I watched her dance her way to the stage, I was thinking, from what felt like a mile away, how wonderful it was that we could escape into the mind and methods of our motivational speaker and leave all the leadership demands of quarterly results and forecasting behind, if only for an hour.
As she spoke, I looked around the room. Like myself, I believe most of my fellow leaders were planning how they would integrate these lessons into our next work day. I furiously took notes, while nodding and thinking, she had me, I’m in! Let’s do this!
Then, one sentence, no, actually just one word, prompted me to put down pen down, lean back in my chair and contemplate what I just heard: “…and when you go back to work tomorrow and disseminate the information you heard today down to your…”
Whoa, stop the train!
My immediate concern was deliver it down to my employees? Deliver it down, as if I was greater than they are, higher than they are, as if I stood towering over them? I have heard this same undertone used by many of my peers, so I have to change it! I picked my pen up, turned to a fresh page and began creating my concept for change…the Flower Theory.
In the flower theory, the seed, or founder, is at the core of the hierarchy, buried deep down in the soil. Still deeper down are the roots gathering and understanding what soil and nutrients to use to grow while also assessing the weather and just the right time to bloom. The stem then delivers what the roots have developed. Through their strength, they become the delivery system that allows the seed to become the flower that presents itself to the world.
The Seed. The seed is the founder, the initiator, the innovator, the one grain or ovule that keeps the company relevant by knowing what to plant, where to plant, and when to plant in order to grow the best garden possible.
The Roots. The senior leadership team, the directors, and the managers – it is their job to understand every aspect of what is needed to grow this flower and create a solid foundation for growth through knowledge and experience taking all factors into account. The root determines and develops the function and positioning, anchoring the plant and creating the foundation to feed the end goal, which in this case is the flower.
The Stem. The frontline leadership, the supervisors – it is their job to understand the message and path from the roots and deliver strength to the flowers.
The Flower. The flowers are the frontline employees. The best part of the company, the flower is the result of the foundation that has been laid as the seed, roots, and stem wait for the flower to present itself to the world. When it does, the flower should bring joy and beauty for all who see it, smell it, and receive it.
Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary. Let me ask you this, would you plant a cactus in Alaska? If you answered yes, you are a seed! If you answered maybe, you are a root! But seriously, even a cactus can grow in Alaska if given a knowledgeable team of experts rich in history, knowledge, education, and the stamina to develop and manage the growth plan.
So how do you get your leadership garden to grow? The current state of business thought needs to be rototilled. We need to turn the soil, reintroduce growth against gravity by putting the seeds, roots, stems, and flowers back in order.
What thoughts would you include in the flower theory of leadership?
Today’s guest post is by Jackie Danielsson who currently works as a project manager and dreams of writing a book to improve how leadership is practiced.
Image source before quote: morgueFile.com
by Cisco Collaboration | Leadership
Most members of high-performing teams report that it’s fun and satisfying to work on collaborative teams because they are asked to contribute at their highest potential and they learn a lot along the way.
10 characteristics of high-performing teams
1. People have solid and deep trust in each other and in the team’s purpose — they feel free to express feelings and ideas.
2. Everybody is working toward the same goals.
3. Team members are clear on how to work together and how to accomplish tasks.
4. Everyone understands both team and individual performance goals and knows what is expected.
5. Team members actively diffuse tension and friction in a relaxed and informal atmosphere.
6. The team engages in extensive discussion, and everyone gets a chance to contribute — even the introverts.
7. Disagreement is viewed as a good thing and conflicts are managed. Criticism is constructive and is oriented toward problem solving and removing obstacles.
8. The team makes decisions when there is natural agreement — in the cases where agreement is elusive, a decision is made by the team lead or executive sponsor, after which little second-guessing occurs.
9. Each team member carries his or her own weight and respects the team processes and other members.
10. The leadership of the team shifts from time to time, as appropriate, to drive results. No individual members are more important than the team.
A team charter paves the way for collaborative success by providing clarity that builds trust and accountability. With a team charter in place, you’ll be able to unlock the potential value of your people by empowering them to contribute.
In the long run, teams with a clear purpose and good chemistry drive business results. Job satisfaction goes up, employees stay engaged in their work, and everybody wins.
Today’s LeadBIG guest post is from Ron Ricci and Carl Wiese. It’s an excerpt from their new book The Collaboration Imperative: Executive Strategies for Unlocking Your Organization’s True Potential.
Image source before quote: morgueFile.com
by Jane Perdue | Leadership
Starting his own cheese, wine and charcuterie shop had been a dream of Steve’s ever since his early college days in northern California.
His happiest career day was leaving his “big boy” accounting manager job to open his shop.
Steve’s saddest day was hanging the “going out of business” sign on his shop door.
The day that happened, Steve froze, personally and professionally, doing nothing for several months except looking back, wondering what he could have done differently to save his dream.
Steve believed he was a failure.
He wasn’t.
He was simply failing at dealing with hitting one of life’s unexpected speed bumps.
Hitting those life change obstacles hurts, just like it did when you fell off a skateboard when you were eight years old. And, just like you did way back then, the key is picking yourself up and getting back in the game. Work to see what happened to you as a “teachable moment” for exploring, growing and learning instead of allowing yourself to withdraw.
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” ~Albert Einstein
7 tips to maintain positive momentum
If you identify with what happened to Steve, use these seven tips to get—and keep—moving:
1) Find the lesson(s). Work with a trusted confidante to explore your thoughts and feelings about what happened. There’s something positive to be learned from nearly every situation. These learnings will make you better next time around.
“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” ~Bernice Johnson Reagon
2) Pursue understanding. Ignoring what happened or looking to find fault won’t make the situation go away or change the outcome. Focus instead on what you do well and look for opportunities where you can apply your strengths.
“The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.” ~Carlos Castaneda
3) Seek self-awareness. Take a long hard look at your reactions so you can better understand your motivation. Connect to what makes you tick and use that wisdom to connect with others. Determine if your strengths have been over-used to the point of becoming weaknesses.
“Most of the shadows of life are caused by standing in our own sunshine.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
4) Take wise risks. Expand your comfort zone – that’s where life and learning really begins. Learn and grow by trying something new. Expect bumps, bruises and failures along the way.
“There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” ~Aldous Huxley
5) Build bridges to the future; don’t burn those to the past. You never know when a past boss or colleague may become a future boss or hold the key to a job or assignment you want, so maintain constructive relationships.
“He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.” ~Abraham Lincoln
6) Remain optimistic. Analyze the situation. Then move beyond those “what if” thoughts or “maybe I should have” worries. Saying I should have, I could have, I wish I did is living your life in the rear view mirror — all looking back and no forward movement.
“The difference between can and cannot is only three letters. Three letters that can shape your life’s direction.” ~Remez Sasson
7) Grow, learn, connect. Volunteer, take a class, connect, share, work out, be a mentor, network, read, write, love, laugh, learn. Use the past as a springboard for energetically moving on.
“Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.” ~Brian Tracy
The next time you’re cruising down the highway and see the road sign that reads “keep moving, change lanes later” – smile and follow the good advice.
Image source: morguefile
