“And now, well…I’m just a nobody.”

Tears welled up in her eyes as a coaching client uttered those sad words.

As with so many business people, her personal identity had been inextricably linked to her job (including yours truly).

When the title and power were gone, so was her sense of self-worth and self-confidence.

50, 60, 80-hour work weeks hadn’t left much time for outside activities or for developing non-work-related friendships.

I shared with her that it had taken me a long time to understand that my job was what I did, not who I was (my Aunt Polly lesson). 

So to help her regain her sense of self, we collaborated in creating this list of action items.

8 ways to be a somebody

1) Tell yourself every day that you ARE a somebody who just happens to be looking for a job. That somebody has knowledge, skills and abilities, and people to love and be loved in return.

2) Start volunteering. Your local community is full of nonprofit groups in need your experience, your guidance, your help. You gain self-esteem and confidence by making a contribution, and the organization benefits from your help. Giving back is a great way to meet new people and to restore self-worth.

3) Just because you don’t have a job per se doesn’t mean you can’t have a business card to share at networking events. Create one. Share it often, and without apology.

4) Stop the downward thinking spiral of “being a nobody.” Every time this thought pops into your head, remember your past contributions and how a future organization will benefit from your employment with them. It’s up to you how much power you give to your inner critic.

5) Be a freelancer. Being your own boss can be a pretty liberating experience.

6) Get professional help if the mental and emotional scabs from the loss of her job don’t heal.

7) Get involved in business and social networking — brand yourself and start making new contacts. The community of interest that exists is phenomenal, and the opportunity to build relationships is rich and robust. Take advantage of the situation to make new contacts who can help personally and professionally. There are lots of warm, wonderful and knowledgeable people who have lots to share…start getting to know them.

8. Look to the past, not to mourn, but to gather learnings and inspiration for your future.

With or without a job, everyone is still a somebody, so hang on tight to that belief and don’t let go!

What other suggestions would you offer?

What worked for you when someone has shaken your confidence?