by Jane Perdue | Be your best you
“So glad that’s over,” said Charles to his assistant.
“It’s hard putting on a happy face when I talk to my employees about the direction the company is going. I don’t want to scare them with bad news or have them think that I can’t handle it.”
Six months later, Charles had to close his little shop.
His view of leadership was a bit like that of an overcoat: something to be put on when needed, then taken off.
That’s kinda sad, isn’t it?
Had Charles shared the truth with his employees and involved them in the solution, perhaps the ending to his business and leadership story might have been considerably different…and much happier for everyone.
Practice the power of continuity
Some use-your-head-to-manage-and-your-heart-to-lead thoughts to guide you in similar situations:
1) Don’t sugar coat the truth.
If times are tough, level with your employees. OK, a few may jump ship, but the rest will surprise you. Most people rise to the occasion when times are tough. Be open to implementing their ideas, and experience what a positive morale boost that can be.
2) Don’t act like you’re play a role in a film.
Putting on a “happy face” isn’t authentic or effective. A true leader is a leader 7 x 24—whether at the office or coaching a little league game—who has the best interests of those around him/her in mind and perpetually seeks the best win-win outcome. What matters is your continuity in being a real leader who doesn’t fake feelings or hide the truth.
3) Reject being the-all-knowing-boss myth.
Sure, you own the business or run the department, but that doesn’t mean you have all the answers every time. No one can do that! Tap into the collective knowledge, wisdom and creativity of those around you. Challenge and inspire people to get involved, and then step aside and nurture their development as they try out their solutions.
What else would you recommend for practicing continuity?
Image source before quote: morgueFile.com
by Jane Perdue | Women
Dr. Elaine Yarbrough was the featured speaker this past Monday evening at the Entrepreneur Networking Event presented by the Charleston Center for Women.
Elaine’s career includes over 25 years experience training, consulting, mediating as well as researching, speaking about and promoting women and their power.
I had the privilege of participating in one of Elaine’s training sessions several years ago and still use what I learned. She has the unique gift of presenting challenging information in an engaging and low-key humorous way.
(When a taxi driver told her that men were meant to lead since they were the hunters and women were the gatherers, Elaine told him she couldn’t recall the last time her husband shot a woolly mammoth for dinner!)
3 ways for women to support one another
Some priceless nuggets from her riveting presentation for women everywhere to ponder, promote…and do:
Replace cat fights with support.
As Elaine pointed out, the cat fights for which women are infamous are “rooted in being chronically low-powered.” Without the power to fight those with more power, attacks are aimed at one another. Elaine asked the audience to consider their own behavior: Do you make catty comments about what another woman said or wore or did? Do you join in the office cat fights? Claim your personal power by supporting other women. Do business with them. Reinforce their comments in meetings. Know each other’s stories. Have each other’s backs.
Be motivated by accomplishment, not approval.
Elaine sited what happens in early education as part of how women are socialized to seek approval. When a little girl correctly answers a question, the teacher responds with “good girl!” When a little boy responds correctly, the teacher asks additional probing questions to expand his thought processes. What a telling difference. So, find your affirmation in working issues through to a positive conclusion instead of seeking approval for having behaved as a “good girl.”
Pushback when gender slurs come your way.
Elaine shared results from a political study showing that female candidate’s approval ratings went up when they challenged gender slurs directed at them. Approval ratings dropped for female candidates who didn’t pushback. As Elaine said, “start putting yourself up, not down.”
Ready to start supporting one another as we step into our power?
Image source before quote: morgueFile.com
by Jane Perdue | Be your best you
Following ten years of promotions and many kudos for her excellent work, Leah was laid off for the first time in her career.
Her company had been hit hard by the recession and needed to dramatically reduce its staff. Included in those reductions were key performers like Leah who worked in functions no longer deemed “business critical.”
Leah believed being laid off meant that she had failed. She froze, personally and professionally, and did nothing for several weeks except look back at what had happened, wondering what she could have done differently.
Leah hadn’t failed at her job; however, she was failing at dealing with the situation.
The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that in the third quarter of 2010 there were 1,297 mass layoffs affecting more than187,091 people. (A mass layoff is when 50 or more people are laid off at the same time.) So there are many individuals like Leah who are dealing with an unexpected speed bump in their career path.
Hitting those career obstacles hurts, just like it did when you fell off a swing when you were ten years old. And, just like you did way back then, the key is picking yourself up and getting back in the game. Strive to view the situation as a “teachable moment” for exploring, growing and learning instead of allowing yourself to withdraw. As Albert Einstein remarked, “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.”
7 tips to keep moving
If your situation is similar to Leah’s, look to these seven tips to keep moving:
1) Look for lessons to be learned.
Work with a trusted confidante to explore your thoughts and feelings about what happened. There’s something positive to be learned from nearly every situation that will make you better the next time around.
Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are. ~Bernice Johnson Reagon, songwriter and scholar
2) Aim for understanding.
Ignoring what happened or looking to find fault won’t make the situation go away or change the outcome. Focus instead on what you do well and look for opportunities where you can apply your strengths.
The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same. ~Carlos Castaneda, author
3) Become more self-aware.
Take a long hard look at your reactions so you can better understand your motivation. Connect to what makes you tick and use that wisdom to connect with others.
Most of the shadows of life are caused by standing in our own sunshine. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist and philosopher
4) Keep taking wise risks.
Expand your comfort zone. Learn and grow by trying something new. Expect bums, bruises and failures along the way.
There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self. ~Aldous Huxley, English writer
5) Build bridges to the future; don’t burn those to the past.
You never know when a past boss or colleague may become a future boss, so assure that the relationship remains positive.
Taking the high road is usually not the easy one to take or the most popular…but if you compromise your principles and your integrity, it will always end up costing you far more in the long run. ~Billy Cox, author
6) Be optimistic.
Shed those “what if” thoughts or “maybe I should have” worries, and remain positive. Saying I should have, I could have, I wish I did is living your life in the rear view mirror — all looking back and no forward movement.
The difference between can and cannot is only three letters. Three letters that can shape your life’s direction. ~Remez Sassion, author
7) Get – and stay – moving.
Volunteer, take a class, work out, be a mentor, network. Learn from the past and energetically move on.
Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little. ~Edmund Burke, orator and philosopher
The next time you’re cruising down the highway and see the road sign that reads “keep moving, change lanes later” – smile and follow the good advice.
Image source: morgueFile.com
by Jane Perdue | Be your best you
It’s the weekly department staff meeting, and your boss just congratulated a colleague for her “great and innovative” idea for improving customer service. You feel like you’ve just been hit by lightning — that idea was yours! You shared it with her over a coffee-between-friends just yesterday.
Now here she is, taking your idea, passing it off as her own, and receiving kudos from the-hard-to-impress boss. Praise that should have been yours.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
What to do…what to do???
Messy world of workplace conflict
The University of Wisconsin Office of Human Resources defines conflict as “a disagreement through which the parties involved perceive a threat to their needs, interests or concerns.”
Dr. Tony Fiore, a psychologist and author of Anger Management for the 21st Century, states “the effects of conflict in the workplace are widespread and costly. Its prevalence, as indicated by three serious studies, shows that 24-60% of management time and energy is spent dealing with anger.”
Workplace conflict is a fact of life, just like office politics. Fresh Tracks, a UK-based team development company, observes, “Conflict arises from differences, and when individuals come together in teams, their differences in terms of power, values, and attitudes contribute to the creation of conflict.” When faced with conflict at work, negative reactions range from rage to withdrawal to getting even. None of which are an effective way to resolve the conflict.
Mary Parker Follett, a pioneer in the field of organizational behavior, offers a better way,
“There are three ways of dealing with difference: domination, compromise, and integration. By domination only one side gets what it wants; by compromise neither side gets what it wants; by integration we find a way by which both sides may get what they wish.”
5 elements of effectively handling conflict
Provide an opportunity to clear the air.
Allow people to voice their opinion and offer their perspective on why they did what they did. You don’t have to agree with what they’re saying; just understanding their point of view can help pinpoint underlying issues that may have sparked the incident. Is that idea-poaching colleague jealous of you? Does she feel intimidated by your constant stream of fresh ideas? While neither motivation is justifiable, you can get glimpses into her thought processes that may assist you in resolving the issue.
Listen, really listen.
Many of us get so caught up in our sense of rightness that we don’t fully listen to what people are saying. Are you hearing facts, or are you reacting to your perceptions and/or stereotypes? Consider these humorous yet insightful words from Robert McCloskey, an American author, “I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
Embrace healthy debate.
Take stock of what you’ve learned by asking clarifying questions and actively listening, then determine a course of action appropriate to the situation. Positive conflict is a helpful — and necessary — tool for business and personal growth. As Jim Collins writes in Good to Great, “all the good-to-great companies had a penchant for intense dialogue. Phrases like ‘loud debate’, ‘heated discussions’ and ‘healthy conflict’ peppered the articles and transcripts from all companies.”
Maintain the win-win relationship.
Relationships are the new currency of the business world, so be thoughtful about managing your thoughts, feelings and physical responses when handling conflict. You never know whether or not the person you tick off today could be your boss tomorrow. According to the Relationships Foundation, a consultancy think tank, “getting relationships right is the most important agenda in…business, communities and in our personal lives.”
Keep the future open.
Be willing to admit when you were wrong and be willing to forgive. Keep these words from Dutch botanist Paul Boese in mind, “Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”
“The aim of argument, or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress.” ~Joseph Joubert
What’s your experience been in dealing with conflict?
Image source: morgueFile.com
by Jane Perdue | Creativity
In a cost saving move, two divisions of a national firm in two adjoining states were merged; one division large, the other much smaller.
Aggie was selected to lead the marketing department for the new, larger division.
Her appointment surprised many people given that she worked in the smaller division and had been with the organization far less time than Nancy, the head of marketing in the larger division.
How Aggie handled the transition was a creative and positive leadership lesson.
The twelve marketing department members in the former large division made no secret that they were prepared to dislike Aggie and would give her the brush-off when she came to meet them. They said it didn’t matter that they had never met her. They said what mattered was that Nancy’s seniority hadn’t been honored which was how things used to be.
It was meeting day.
Aggie arrived with thirteen boxes, all beautifully wrapped and adorned with large bows. She asked her twelve new direct reports to join her in the conference room.
“Hi all, I’m Aggie, and delighted to meet all of you. I’m seriously hoping that you like chocolate candy as much as I do! Let’s spend the afternoon enjoying chocolates and getting to know one another. I’ll go first.”
Ellen bit into a chocolate, then smiled. She spent the next fifteen minutes describing her background; her hopes and joys, what made her smile and what made her frown; her favorite foods, colors and places to visit; and the antics of her two small children. There was no mention of marketing and mergers.
One by one, each of the twelve followed suit – savoring chocolates from the shared box and sharing about their life. Several hours later, each knew their colleagues better; and all thoughts of disliking Aggie were gone.
Each one took home a box of chocolates, filled with hope that their new leader was definitely the right choice to lead them into the future of this newly merged organization.
Have you encountered a similar circumstance? What did you do to win folks over so you could get down to business on friendlier terms?
Quotes about creativity (but without chocolate!)
For creativity to flourish [requires] the embrace of loss, the oldest and most constant of human experiences. ~Julie Burstein
There is a correlation between the creative and the screwball. So we must suffer the screwball gladly. ~Kingman Brewster
True intelligence operates silently. Stillness is where creativity and solutions to problems are found. ~Eckhart Tolle
Image source before quote: morgueFile.com
