by Jane Perdue | Creativity
“Mia, you’ve assembled an excellent list of options. Based on what you’ve told me, I don’t have any other suggestions to offer. I do have a question though, why are you still gathering options?”
“It’s very disappointing you can’t offer anything new. I was told you’d be able to help me work toward my goal.”
“That depends on what your goal is. Is it adding to an already long list of options? Or is it achieving what you say you want?”
**cue silence, a very long one**
Finally, Mia sighed, then spoke. “I just realized I’ve spent the last two years postponing a decision. I’ve found fault with and reasons why no suggestion was possible. I’ve criticized coaches for their mediocre performance. I’ve quit seeing certain friends who kept pushing me to move forward. I kept blaming everyone when the real road block was me.”
**cue a new beginning**
Resistance is mental and emotional quicksand, sucking you in and under, sometimes without your awareness.
If you find yourself standing at the crossroads for an inordinately long time or asking different people (lots of them!) for their advice on solving a problem, consider – if you will – that you’re the common variable across all scenarios.
How to escape from resistance “quicksand”
When you are really, really dug into a position, use these five tips to help free yourself:
Identify if fear is holding you back.
Ask yourself: what am I afraid of? Is it a lack of confidence in my ability to achieve the goal? Do I think somehow that I’m not worthy of that level of success? Have I been mocked or criticized in the past for not succeeding?
Dissect your goal.
Are you really certain that you have a goal? If you have a goal, is it the right one for you or is it an outcome that others have said you should achieve? Running in place (gathering up lots of options like what Mia did) is movement. Yet it isn’t forward movement.
Look at your schedule.
Saying “I don’t have the time to do….” is a common response to change we profess wanting to make yet aren’t. And of course your schedule is full of activities. However, if your professed goal is really important to you, you’ll make the time to make it happen.
Time is a created thing. To say, “I don’t have time’ is to say “I don’t want to.’ ~Lao Tzu
Focus on growth, not change.
Consider how your life will be richer – mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially – when you achieve your goal. Do you want to find yourself five years into the future still talking about getting your MBA, starting a new business or changing jobs, writing your first book and on and on?
Commit.
Saying “I’ll try to do….” is a first cousin to “I don’t have time.” If you’re serious about your dream, commit to a plan, a schedule, milestones, a partner to help you stay on track and make it so!
Commitment is the enemy of resistance, for it is the serious promise to press on, to get up, no matter how many times you are knocked down. ~David McNally
What else would you add to the list?
Image source: Gratisography
by Amy Diederich | Creativity, Women
Amy Diederich
As far back as I can remember I’ve been goal driven.
I worked my way through college holding down two jobs. I completed my degree graduating Magna Cum Laude. I won a full scholarship to pursue my masters degree. I completed that degree Summa Cum Laude while still continuing to hold down two jobs.
Once I had my masters, I jumped into corporate America. I worked hard to move up the corporate ladder and did.
I have always had the drive to own my own business.
I am first and foremost an entrepreneur and inventor. I am the daughter of a prolific inventor and entrepreneur. My father always encouraged his kids to start their own businesses.
Three of his four children are entrepreneurs.
Starting BIG
In 1999 I left corporate America and started my own consulting firm, A-Squared Consulting. I am proud to say we were successful. We always operated in the black and always had plenty of business. My clients list was impressive: Adelphia, Vonage, and Comcast, to mention just a few.
In June of 2010 I felt compelled to merge my company with Jane Perdue’s (a former boss, client, and current mentor). Jane shared her story of the pivotal moment when her boss referred to her as Aunt Polly. That story hit a cord.
You see I also received a proverbial whack on the head.
My Whack On the Head
A-Squared Consulting did sales training at the company where my husband is CEO. One day I was introduced to a new senior leader who had just joined my husband’s team. After my role of sales consultant was explained, he commented to my husband, “How nice you gave the ‘little woman’ something to keep her busy!”
I was speechless!
I don’t find myself speechless very often.
I wanted to say, Well I agreed to work with this company to help my husband. My other clients are all Fortune 500 companies. The next few responses that came to my mind are not G-rated! Any of the potential retorts that came to my head, however deserved, felt really shallow.
I decided not say anything, but to let my actions and results prove I had not been “given” anything.
I believe most people have had that time in their life where someone intentionally or unintentionally tried to make them feel little.
For me, BIG is about helping people get past those moments and push through to live their BIG dream.
When Jane contacted me, I came to the conclusion that I had realized my dream and now it was time to give back and help others. I want to share how my dad inspired me to Start BIG! Give others the moxie to help them reach out for their dreams!
My work is designed to help you succeed in achieving YOUR dream. Your dream can be starting a company or simply starting a project. As the President of the Braithwaite Innovation Group, I get the chance to interact daily with people who are starting entrepreneurial adventures. I love to encourage them, help them find their market, and connect them with others who are chasing their dream.
Check us out to see what we have to offer.
If there is something you need help with, we are happy to help!
My new dream is to help others see a new possibility, a new connection or relationship that will spark the next great invention or business. Sound good?
—
Today’s guest post is from Amy Diederich, my fellow instigator in making a positive difference. Here she tells her story about why she was inspired to get involved with BIG.
by Jane Perdue | Creativity
“It’s always funny when Cora and Walter sit side-by-side in meetings. You can count on Cora to point out everything that’s wrong and Walter to focus on what’s right.”
“They’re the perfect glass half-empty, half-full pair.”
Between them, Cora and Walter represent one-third of the thinking styles in Dr. Edward de Bono’s Six Thinking Hats.™ Using de Bono’s six hats method frees us from falling victim to several thinking styles (such as either/or or right/wrong) that can get us into trouble.
Bono’s six hat thinking method gives a whole new meaning to putting on one’s thinking cap (couldn’t resist!).
6 ways our brains think
Dr. de Bono based his method on the premise the human brain thinks in six different ways. He assigned a definition and a color to each of the six thinking styles:
- Judgment and caution: black
- Objective: white
- Creative: green
- Emotional: red
- Logical: yellow
- Thinking about thinking: blue
Keep in mind the colors/hats are directions/ways of thinking, not categories of people.
I’ve been in work teams where we used this approach to level the brain-storming playing field amongst introverts, those who are dominant and domineering, and confirmed right- or left-brain thinkers. When implemented effectively into meeting protocols, I’ve seen six hat thinking increase creativity, productivity, personal development, and teamwork.
6 hat thinking is a safe way to both modify behavior without attacking it and to encourage innovative thinking. Aha moments happen when our perception changes, so using a different style of thinking can help facilitate those moments of insight. Another reason why I like this approach is the nonthreatening way it allows for both logic (head) and emotion (heart) to be introduced.
Emotions are an essential part of our thinking ability and not just something extra that mucks up our thinking. ~Dr. Edward de Bono
6 hats for all the thinking angles
Ready to gather around and try on different hats of thinking?
Black hat. When wearing the black hat, you have total and complete permission to be as pessimistic as you can be. Consider the logical negative, i.e. why something won’t work. Focus on potential errors, problems, risks and obstacles. Ferret out how “a suggestion does not fit the facts, the available experience, the system in use, or the policy that is being followed.” Identify dead ends and blind spots.
White hat. Think objectively – do not consider hunches, intuition, impressions or opinions. Be neutral. Use just the known facts, information, statistics and numbers. Ask impartially: what we do, don’t, and/or need to know. Identify confirmed facts as well as those facts believed to be true.
Green hat. Be totally creative. Put all ideas, perceptions and concepts on the table. Seek as many alternatives as possible. Be intellectually provocative. Explore the new, the untried and even the outlandish. Bend the rules. Be imaginative. Focus on producing ideas, not editing or evaluating them.
Red hat. Think with your heart. Put forward all emotions, perceptions, judgments, and intuitions associated with the topic under discussion. Neither a basis in logic nor justification are required. Put concerns about consistency aside. Tap into what your gut says and how it makes you feel.
Yellow hat. Look for the best case scenario, the most logical positive outcome. Present reasons why something will work and the benefits it will produce. Consider opportunities, advantages and future vision. Ponder why something is worth doing, and how and who it will help.
Blue hat. Controlled thinking about thinking is the aim. This hat looks “not at the subject itself but at the ‘thinking’ about the subject.” Watch for organization. Be focused. The meeting facilitator typically “wears” the blue hat to manage the overall process to work toward a conclusion.
Using Dr. de Bono’s method introduces a common language, e.g., “We need some green hat thinking on this one” which facilitates using a well-rounded view for problem-solving, whether incremental or ground-breaking innovation is the desired outcome.
by Amy Diederich | Creativity
Today’s post is from Amy Diederich, my Braithwaite Innovotion Group business partner and inspiring dear friend. In this chapter of her life, Amy is devoted to revolutionizing how leaders coach and making a positive difference.
Recently I was one of a “select group” to be invited to attend a webinar on starting your own business. I received a barrage of emails about the magic steps to success.
I was intrigued and stayed tuned in until it came time to buy.
The cost of the webinar? $1495.00.
Why did I not enroll? Not because of the price but because of the promises. The webinar stated if I followed the steps I would get rich quick! This was a giant red flag for me.
I know from starting my own business that there is not one magic bean that will grow the giant beanstalk or one magic step to entrepreneurial success.
It takes work!
You’ll notice I didn’t say hard work.
The one thing I learned from my dad and had drilled into my head from early on is “What will make you successful is doing what you love with those who you love.”
I say almost the same thing to my three kids but I say it a bit differently. I say:
Success is doing what you love with those that you love.
I work long hours but I love it! I am always thinking about my business because it is my passion. I am blessed to be in a business that helps other people.
Recently Tara Alemany and Rick Schwartz with Power Build Your Biz offered a three-part training program called Getting a Rush from Followup. This concept is perfect for small business owners looking to take their results and performance to the next level. In their class, Tara and Rick talk about the joy of building your business and use an analogy to working out.
To build your business and see results, you get up every day, you work out and you repeat this process day after day. Those of us who love our workout routines (both for our businesses and for our health) know this is the only way: keeping doing over and over what you love.
So when you get those ads promising you the magic bean that will grow the magic beanstalk—be wary! They may have information that helps, but unless you find your true passion…work will be hard work!
My steps for success are do what you love and learn all you can to be the best you can!
Image source: morgueFile.com
by Jane Perdue | Be your best you, Creativity
Do you place certain papers in a certain spot on your desk?
Do you travel to work via the same route every day?
Do you have a favorite coffee mug for easy Saturday mornings?
Is there a food you eat when you seek comfort (gooey mac and cheese here!)?
Most of us have some preferred routines and/or objects for a reason. They’re familiar. They’re comfortable. They make us feel safe.
But sometimes that comfort can become confining: sometimes we’re unaware that we’ve created boundaries we rarely step across.
If we’re to grow, learn, and make a positive difference, we have to propel ourselves beyond the borders of our comfort zone. Tim Butler, psychotherapist, director of Career Development at Harvard Business School and author of Getting Unstuck: How Dead Ends Become New Paths, says:
Failure to get unstuck can put careers, personal life goals, and the healthy functioning of work teams or organizations at risk.
3 ways to grow your comfort zone
If propelling past the borders of your comfort zone seems overwhelming or frightening, try these three things:Every week: do something that isn’t “you.”Eat sushi. Sign up for dance or karate lessons. Wear orange or polka dots. Walk, or sing, in the rain. Make a cold call. Attend a networking event. Read and comment on a blog. Sleep in or get up extra early.What’s important is exploring and experimenting. Without new influences and experiences, a comfort zone can become a self-imposed prison.Every month: learn something new. Whether what you learn is big or small is up to you.
Listen to classical music or the Black Eyed Peas. Enjoy an audio book as you drive to work or the market. Take in a TED presentation. Take a webinar. Look up the meaning of an unfamiliar word and use it in a conversation that very same day. Learn a new software. Try out a new craft or sport.
Expand all your muscles: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.
Every quarter: let go of or toss out one thing.
Choose what that one thing is gonna be. It might be an object, a feeling, a practice or whatever your personal baggage might be.
That sweater that hasn’t been worn since high school – give it to a charity.
That slighted feeling you’re carrying around because Betty or Bob ignored you – write it down on a piece of paper, tie that paper to a helium-filled balloon and let it sail away, out of your head, heart and life.
Those beliefs you’re carved in personal granite about how things must always be done – grab your chisel, and start carving away.
That dress or shirt or tie you’ve been saving for a special event – declare today a special day and wear it.
Be perpetually open to learning, doing and being!
What’s your favorite way to blast outside your comfort zone?
Image source: morgueFile.com
by Doretha Walker | Creativity, Power, Women
Today’s guest post is by Doretha Walker, professor and former president of the Charleston, SC Center for Women. Always the over-achiever, Doretha ran her first marathon at age 45 and is working on her Ph.D. She blogs at Wecanflyhigher. The inspiration for her blog name was a fact shared by a friend that only 14 African-American women flew commercial airplanes. Doretha provides inspiration, information and other links to topics to assist women in flying to their own success.
I learned that while it was encouraged to delegate authority (we even had Delegation of Authority cards) I knew that I could not delegate responsibility. I was completely responsible for what my unit did or failed to do.
It is called accountability.
I was accountable for my platoon and later my company. I should not blame others. I should investigate and implement processes and procedures to ensure that any failures should not happen again and learn the lessons.
Personal accountability is crucial for the success of any leader, yet is it surprising when we actually see it.
Michael McCain of the Toronto based Maple Leaf Foods Company displayed it when the company’s hotdogs were involved in a major outbreak of food borne illness that caused 12 confirmed deaths and made many others seriously ill.
He stood up publicly and stated,
Certainly knowing that there is a desire to assign blame, I want to reiterate that the buck stops right here… our best efforts failed, not the regulators or the Canadian food safety system… I emphasize: this is our accountability and it’s ours to fix, which we are taking on fully.
McCain immediately took responsibility and did not play the victim.
While I am sure that there was an in-depth investigation and that some people may have lost their jobs, that topic was not discussed in a public forum. McCain–as the leader–took the brunt of the fallout.
On the other side of the personal accountability coin is taking things personally.
Taking things personally is not the same thing as personal accountability. Although you should feel accountable for your department, it is not your fault if an employee violates a procedure or fails a task unless you were right there encouraging him/her or if you gave the directive for the violation.
If a process fails, yes you are accountable, but do not take it personally because it is not really about you.
It is about the thing that failed. Perhaps, in hindsight, there are things you could have done differently, but regardless, do not take it personally.
No matter whom you are or what you do, one thing is certain: criticism is inevitable. There will always be someone who doesn’t like your work or the way you do business. ~Katie Skow
Take it in stride, glean the lessons within the message, and apply them as necessary.
The best time to apply this is when you lose your job. It is difficult to understand that it is a business decision (consult your labor board if you think differently).
During this time, not taking it personally is not an easy thing to do, but by focusing your energies elsewhere you will get a sense of satisfaction especially when you find that better job.
“Mia, you’ve assembled an excellent list of options. Based on what you’ve told me, I don’t have any other suggestions to offer. I do have a question though, why are you still gathering options?”
